Eye of the Survivors
by Bob Wright
Summary: The rest of the Survivor Series card laid out in A Hart-Felt Thanksgiving unfolds...NOW COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

EYE OF THE SURVIVORS

BY

BOB WRIGHT

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As promised, here is the remainder of the Survivor Series card laid out in A Hart-Felt Thanksgiving; hopefully you won't find this too tedious.

All person's personas and personalities as seen in the ring are registered trademarks of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. And now, let's give some of the slightly lesser names their time in the spotlight as well...

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><p>NOT THAT LONG AGO, IN AN ARENA NOT THAT FAR AWAY...<p>

"One minute to air, Gorilla, Jesse," came the director's count over the headsets.

"Roger, we're ready," Gorilla Monsoon fidgeted with his tie one last time. "Now where could Hogan have gone to?" he mused to Jesse Ventura next to him in the broadcast position, "He'd never miss a pay-per-view..."

"Well you don't know Hogan," the Body snorted with contempt, "He chickened out rather than face Ric Flair and his Million Dollar Team, and there's no..."

"Quiet on the set, thirty seconds to air," the director cut him off, "Twenty seconds; roll the ID. Air in fifteen, fourteen, thirty, twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, cue McMahon and the opening package."

"Thanksgiving night, the perfect time for wrestling delight!" roared Vince McMahon's voice inside the control truck's voiceover booth as the opening played, "The World Wrestling Federation proudly brings you a Thanksgiving tradition, the Survivor Series; seventy-two of the greatest wrestlers in the world, fighting for the honor of surviving: team captains Tito Santana and Rick Martel lead the Mighty Matadors against the Model's Marauders! Team captains the Ultimate Warrior and the Honky Tonk Man lead the Ultimate Warriors against the Rock and Rollers! Team captains 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Earthquake lead Roddy's Rowdies against the Natural Disasters! A tag team extravaganza, the Legion of Doom's team against the Nasty Boys' team! And our big main event: team captains Hulk Hogan and 'Nature Boy' Ric Flair lead the Mega Powers Team against the Million Dollar Team! It's time to survive: IT'S THE SURVIVOR SERIIIIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSSS!"

"Cut to the arena," the director instructed, "And you're on, Gorilla, in five, four, three, two, one..."

"A packed house here at the famed Calgary Stampede Olympic Saddledome, this placed packed to the rafters, as the WWF brings you once again the Survivor Series!" Monsoon grandly declared as the camera blinked on in front of him, "Hello again, Gorilla Monsoon here along with Jesse 'the Pilgrim' Ventura," he frowned at his colleague's pilgrim hat, "And the big story at the moment, Jess, is the fact that the Mega Powers Team seems to have inexplicably disappeared just hours before this event, with no sign or word from either World Wrestling Federation champion Hulk Hogan or any of his teammates."

"He's a coward, that's what it is," Ventura reiterated, "Hogan's too much of a chicken to come out and fight like a man, even when his title isn't on the line. We'd better..."

"We'll keep you abreast of this story as it unfolds, and will pass along any information that comes to us when it does," Monsoon cut him off, "Fortunately for the Mega Powers Team, they were scheduled to go on last tonight, so whatever the issue here, there is time for them to get here to the Saddledome. We of course are coming to you from the great city of Calgary, which for many years was home to the famed Stampede Wrestling, run by the great Stu Hart, father of Intercontinental champion Bret 'Hitman' Hart, who is in fact slated to referee the main event match later this evening. Before we went on the air, the WWF held a reunion of sorts for the alumni of Stampede Wrestling here in the ring, and before we officially get started with the matches, we'd like to share that footage with you now..."

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><p>Down in the front row, Stu Hart was himself fidgeting nervously and glancing at his watch. "Come on Hogan, please try and get here on time," he muttered under his breath.<p>

"He has time, darling," Helen tried to assure him, but she was starting to look nervous as well, as was the rest of the Hart family along the railing.

"Well, anyway, since the Boss Man's going to be in this match, we should probably try and get his attention after it's done," Alison proposed from near the end.

"I'll try, sweetheart, but that's a big if," her father acknowledged, "Especially since this is going to be a knock down drag out match, probably."

"Just like Rick Martel to get every hardcore brawler he could find, to cover up the fact he's the vainest pretty boy of them all," Wayne acknowledged, checking his program, "Well, the Boss Man himself is a human wrecking machine, and half the rest of Mr. Santana's team's just as good."

"Well I like the Model's team," Smith countered, taking a loud obnoxious sip of soda, "You can't go against pure muscle."

"Would that be because you have any money on them, per chance!?" Ellie glared him down. "Dad, you ought to know, before we left, Smith and Dean were in the closet, and..."

"Hold that, they're starting," Diana interrupted her sister, pointing to ring announcer Howard Finkel climbing into the ring, taking up his microphone just as the opening bell rang. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is our opening bout of the Survivor Series!" he declared to loud cheers from the capacity crowd, "Let me introduce first, the members of The Model's Marauders!"

The sound of a car speeding away blared over the loudspeakers, followed by Latino-style music. "Coming down the aisle," Finkel continued as the first combatant came through the curtains, "First, from Miami, Florida, weighing 287 pounds, Razor Ramon! Accompanied by his manager, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan, from Tampa, Florida, weighing 270 pounds, Hercules! Accompanied by his manager, the Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart, from Seattle, Washington, weighing 258 pounds, Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine! From Harlem, New York, weighing 255 pounds, Bad News Brown! Accompanied by his manager, Dr. Harvey Whippleman, from West Memphis, Arkansas, weighing 317 pounds, Sycho Sid!"

"I'm Sycho Sid, and I rule the world!" Sid yelled maniacally at the top of his lungs, ignoring the boos that accompanied the proclamation. Finkel waited until Sid, as the last one in line, had entered the ring, and the music had switched to a saxophone tune before concluding, "And, the team captain, from Cocoa Beach, Florida, weight 226 pounds, 'the Model' Rick Martel!"

"The Model looking supremely confident as he makes his way down the aisle," Monsoon noted at the broadcast position, "He's long stated he intends to prove to the entire world that it was he and not Tito Santana that was the driving engine behind Strike Force's success; given his actions since the team imploded, however, I'd have to lean towards the opposite being true."

"Well you've never had a shred of respect for him, Monsoon," Ventura grumbled, "I find Martel to be a true gentleman and an actual wrestling talent, not like Chico, who's just a brawler with no brains."

"I find that statement very much disconnected from reality as most people see it, Jesse. Martel climbing into the ring now, with a superfluous blast of Arrogance from that atomizer to announce his arrival. He's put together a tough team here, but he's got some tough competitors on the other side to deal with, and they should be coming out any minute now..."

Sure enough, a siren rose at that moment. "And now, the members of the Mighty Matadors!" Finkel declared just as the Boss Man shot like a rocket out of the tunnel, "First, from Cobb County, Georgia, weighing 305 pounds, the Big Boss Man! From San Francisco, California, weighing 271 pounds, Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake! From Tampa, Florida, weighing 253 pounds, 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff! From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing 280 pounds, the Junkyard Dog! From Pembroke, North Carolina, weighing 258 pounds, Tatanka!" Again he paused for the music to change, this time to another Latin beat, before concluding, "And, the team captain, from Tocula, Mexico, weighing 234 pounds, Tito Santana!"

"Big applause here in the Saddledome for Tito Santana as he rushes towards the ring; no doubt, though, his mind must be somewhat conflicted right now, going against the man who was once his tag team partner and close friend," Monsoon surmised, "Strike Force of course were World Wrestling Federation tag team champions for about seven months, and the team looked unstoppable, but then came that terrible fallout at WrestleMania, with Martel getting accidentally kicked in the face..."

"What's all this 'accidentally' nonsense; Chico kicked him on purpose," Ventura insisted.

"There's absolutely no proof of that, Jesse, and if you've even bothered looking at the tape, it's as clearly an accident as you can get."

"Well I don't know what tape YOU'VE been watching, Gorilla, because the one I saw clearly showed Chico sucker-kicking Martel because he was jealous Martel was the driving force behind Strike Force and wanted to bring him down a notch or two."

"I highly doubt that-and for the last time, the name is TITO, Jesse..."

"Like I said, Chico..."

Monsoon groaned in frustration. "Both teams now in the ring; as you at home know, the captains choose who starts the match for their teams, and from there on it's regular tag team action. The Model's Marauders going into one final group strategy session, huddling together in the corner...or maybe not," he conceded as Bad News jerked backwards and angrily shouted at Martel, "I SAID DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" "Bad News Brown already twerked off with his teammates, and I'm wondering, Jesse, whether he's too loose a cannon to be trusted."

"Never mind him, what about Mr. Wonderful? He can't seem to make up his mind whether he wants to work with Bobby Heenan or not."

"Well, only time will tell there. Looks like we're ready to go; whole lot of scores to be settled in this one, some of them going back quite a long way. We're starting off with the Big Boss Man against Razor Ramon; these two don't like each other much either..."

"Hey copper," Ramon called to the Boss Man in the ring, then contemptuously flicked his toothpick at him when he turned, "Tonight you learn what machismo does for me that it can't for you, _chico_."

"And tonight you learn to respect law and order, boy!" the Boss Man lunged at the Cuban immigrant and started thrashing him around. "Here we go, and the Boss Man going straight at it with Razor Ramon, hip tossing him into the corner," Monsoon started the call, "Now stomping on his chest and flipping him up over his shoulder. Boss Man off the ropes, drops the elbow, but no one's home. Ramon tags in Hercules, who grabs the Boss Man by the legs and starts stomping in that groin arena. Headbutt there, and look, Herc's going for the full nelson right away! Boss Man fighting it hard; that would be a major blow to the Mighty Matadors if he was eliminated right off the bat..."

"Darn right it would, and Chico looks worried already."

"Hercules pouring it on, but it doesn't look like he has those fingers locked there, and the Boss Man able to break the hold with an elbow to the chest; reverse knife edge, and then a suplex, and Herc's down to the mat. Boss Man tags in the Dog, who thumps Hercules good on the back; now he whips him into the ropes and drops him again with a forearm smash. Hercules crawling to his corner who tags in Bad News, who doesn't complain about being touched this time..."

"Well a tag's different, Monsoon; he knows the rules of the match, and that's fine by him."

Bad News plows straight into JYD, sending him backwards to the mat. Bad News dives into the Dog's chest; looks like a chokehold there. Referee Jack Lotz warning him to stop; a disqualification sends you out of here, of course. Bad News does stop, but then jams his foot down on the Junkyard Dog's throat instead...and holding it down pretty darn hard there...!"

"Hey, he's got to the count of five, you know."

"JYD reaching out, Tito Santana easily in range, makes the tag, but I don't think Bad News saw it. Tito going up to the top rope, here he comes-yes, topples Bad News to the mat! A cover: one, two...what a kickout there. Bad News enraged, swings and lands a glancing blow on Santana, who takes him down with a legsweep, and, it looks, like, yes, here comes the Figure Four Leglock! Tito has it hooked on, he's starting to...no, Valentine diving in to break up the leglock. Bad News back to the corner and tags in the Model, and here we go, the two members of Strike Force face to face again in the middle of the ring. Once they were as close as brothers; now, nothing but enmity between them, and is that a little regret on Santana's face there, Jesse?"

"Why should there be; he used Martel to get the tag belts," the Body grumbled.

"You have no class, Jesse; Martel's the one who took the partnership for granted-and Martel now sucker-kicking Tito in the chest!" Monsoon growled. "Martel laughing as he picks his former partner up and it looks like-yes, he gives him a piledriver! A cover: one, two...now Mr. Wonderful in to make the save."

"Why bother; Chico's going down anyway."

"TITO!"

"Whatever."

"Martel twisting Santana's leg, trying to make him submit that way," Monsoon rolled his eyes, "Tito reaching out, grabbing the ropes, and Martel reluctantly breaks. The Model pulls both Santana's legs back and slams him hard to the mat, now strutting confidently around the ring, winds up with the elbow drop...and misses; he wasted too much time!"

"That may well be the first major mistake of the match, Gorilla; he'd better tag out before Chico turns it to his advantage."

"Too late now; Tito tags in Tatanka, who of course has had a blood feud against Martel since the Model stole his sacred eagle feathers a few months ago-and Tatanka felling Martel immediately with a big tomahawk chop!" Monsoon roared in approval, "Kick to his chest, and an inverted atomic drop, and the Model is reeling. Martel stumbling over to his corner, tags Sid in, and Sid charges straight at Tatanka, who moves aside just like a matador. Sid into the ropes hard-and Beefcake lands a blow on his back from the apron..."

"That's a disqualification; send him out of here!"

"Tatanka takes Sid by the head and takes him down the line; each member of the Mighty Matadors gets a shot at the Sycho One. Now a...no, rake of the eyes by Sid, and a spinning kick sends Tatanka reeling backwards. Sid with a hard chop to the face...and whoa, what a chokeslam of Tatanka by Sid! Sid getting that wild-eyed look, picks the Native American Warrior up, places his head between his legs, now heaves him up over his head-Powerbomb!"

"SYCHO SID RULES THE WORLD!" Sid roared at the top of his lungs in victory as he got an easy three count.

"Well, even world rulers need a haircut!" Beefcake leaped in and gave him a hard right cross. "Barber with the jump on the Sycho One; Sid struggling to get back to the ropes, with Brutus attempting to lock on the sleeper hold," Monsoon leaned forward in his seat, "Sid flailing like crazy, but still manages to tag Valentine in. The Hammer with a blow to the back of the Barber's head, and the two of them stare each other down; these two also former tag team partners-world champion tag team partners, in fact-until Valentine stabbed Brutus in the back at WrestleMania a few years back."

"I wouldn't call it stabbing, Gorilla; Beefcake was incompetent, and Valentine simply got himself a better partner..."

"Valentine and Beefcake going at it full tilt now, trading hard blows back and forth, now Valentine shoves his former Dream Team partner into the ropes, and whoa, a lot of altitude there as he flips Brutus over his head. The Hammer drops the elbow on him, now hooking his throat on the ropes and pushing him down onto it; come on ref, break this up!"

"He's not trying to kill him, Gorilla, so give it a rest."

"Brutus gasping a little bit for air as Valentine continues applying the pressure, now jumps down hard on his upper back. A tag to Hercules, who hauls Brutus up and starts smashing his face into the turnbuckle: four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen...he's going well over the legal limit here. Finally Herc stops, flings him into the other corner, and charges in...and misses! Beefcake rushing back to his corner, tags in JYD; the Dog grabs Hercules and hip tosses him to the mat, now he assumes a three point stance, charges forward, and flattens him again. Hercules look around for his corner, but JYD picks him up again, flings him into the ropes, bounces off the far ropes, and wham, takes him down hard! The cover, one, two, three; Herc's out of here!"

"Hercules should have tagged quicker; he basically let himself get eliminated there."

"Down to five on five now as Junkyard Dog faces off with the Model now; Rick Martel slamming JYD's head into the mat, now pressing his foot down on the back of his head. Drops the leg on him again and again, now climbing up to the top rope; the Model taking flight and comes down hard on the Dog. A cover: one, two, and JYD kicks out. Martel whips JYD into the corner, now takes arm and tries to whip...no, Junkyard Dog reverses...Martel reverses again...and JYD slams the Model into the corner! Rushes...no, Martel moves out of the way in time. Tag to Razor Ramon, who picks the Dog up and gives him an atomic drop. Abdominal stretch, the Dog grimacing in pain..."

"If I were him, I'd give up; Razor Ramon knows how to make people submit."

"Junkyard Dog flailing, referee asking him if he wants to surrender, but he shakes his head no. Ramon lets him go, kicks him contemptuously. The self-proclaimed Bad Guy going up to the top rope, here he comes...wham! A cover: one, two...just missed the three count there."

"Junkyard Dog needs to tag or he's history, it's as simple as that."

"Razor Ramon confident now, flips the Dog into the ropes, flips him up high over his head; that was an awful lot of altitude there."

"Darn right; you and McMahon put Ramon down a lot, but he has quite a bit of power, as well as machismo."

"I'll grant that. Ramon measuring JYD, goes for another elbow...but nobody home! JYD rolling desperately towards his corner; Ramon grabs his legs and tries to pull him back, but too late, he tags Mr. Wonderful! Paul Orndorff rushes in and buries the Bad Guy with a series of hard chops. Now a swinging kick sends Ramon sprawling. Orndorff picks the Bad Guy up and big slam there, followed by a diving punch to the head. Orndorff grabbing him around the waist, I think he'd trying to turn him over for the piledriver...nope, Ramon squirms out of his hands. A tag to Valentine and the Hammer swings a hard blow, but Orndorff blocks it, and a kick to Valentine's chest. Mr. Wonderful flings him into the ropes and...leaps over him on the rebound, leaps over him again, and a diving tackle takes the Hammer down again! A cover: one, two...kicked out at the last minute. Paul Orndorff undaunted, off the ropes again...and Jimmy Hart grabs the leg from outside and trips him! Valentine scrambles over for the cover; no, not like this...!"

"Oh yeah, like this," Ventura grinned as Valentine got the three count.

"Mr. Wonderful gone, as Bobby Heenan merrily celebrates the defeat of his former ace Heenan Family protégé..."

"And who knows, Gorilla; the way Orndorff can't make up his mind, he'll probably be back with Heenan again at this time next week."

"The Model's Marauders with an advantage again. Boss Man in on the Hammer, picks him up and powerslams him before he can get set after the pin. Whips him hard into the corner, jumps up on his shoulders, and here comes the punches: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Valentine staggering, manages a tag to Sid, who barges in and immediately starts choking the Boss Man out; Boss Man shoves him away and, whoa, hard slap on Sid! Sid slaps him back and goes for the chokehold again; Boss Man choking back, referee warning them both. Sid forcing the Boss Man back into the ropes...over the ropes in fact; both men tumbling out of the ring! Boss Man and Sid rolling around on the floor, the count now going on outside-and here comes Harvey Whippleman, and he bashes the Boss Man over the head with his doctor's bag! Sid rolling back into the ring; the count at six, Boss Man stumbling around, he's groping for the apron, starting to climb up; Whippleman grabs the legs and trying to keep him out of the ring; the count's at eight, nine...Boss Man just got under the ropes in time. Unfortunately, Sid right on time of him, picks him up and slams him down repeatedly to the mat. Another chokehold by Sid, Boss Man kicking frantically, referee warning Sid again to break it..."

"He'd better be careful, or Sid might just break the neck."

"I didn't mean the neck, Jesse! Sid heaving the Boss Man up over his head, and flings him clear out of the ring, right by the Hart family in the front row..."

"Mr. Traylor, I'd like..." Stu tried to get the former prison guard's attention.

"Here he comes," Georgia's shout cut her father off, but came a bit too late for the Boss Man, as Sid leaped off the apron and pounded the Boss Man into the barricade. With a maniacal laugh, Sid smashed the Boss Man's face into the apron, rolled him into the ring and climbed up to the top rope. Laughing again, he leaped and came down hard on his foe. He hooked the leg, but only managed a two count. "Sid looking frustrated, shouting at the ref that he was sure that was a three count," Monsoon related.

"Well even if it wasn't, Boss Man in a whole heap of trouble here; I'd get to the corner and tag quick if I were him, Gorilla."

"Boss Man dazed, offering no resistance as he's flung into the corner; Sid charges in, goes airborne with a dropkick-look out, Boss Man ducks, and Sid kicks Bad News by accident!" he roared, "And look at Bad News, he's absolutely furious; Bad News Brown climbing into the ring with a murderous expression on his face; Sid backpedaling, looking terrified for once in his life; he's stammering that he didn't mean to do it; here comes Rick Martel into the ring, getting between his teammates, trying to calm the situation down...but no, Bad News shoves the Model aside, and...whoa, he gives Sid a chokeslam of his own! And now, yes, a Ghetto Blaster on top of it! Bad News Brown furious, heading back to his corner, and whoa, he decks Valentine and Ramon too! Bad News Brown climbing out of the ring, I think he's leaving!"

"Well that was an accident; for once, I think Bad News is making a mistake here."

"Bad News coming around, yanking the remaining members of the Mighty Matadors off the apron and decking each of them in turn; he hates everyone, and he's letting it show here-and now he decks the timekeeper and outside referee too! This man has serious anger management issues."

"He could get a big fine for this if he isn't careful; I'd get back in the ring and at least try and smooth this over if he can."

"Too late now, Jesse; Bad News Brown leaving the arena, randomly punching people along the aisle as he goes, and who honestly didn't see this coming? Every Survivor Series, the man walks out on his teammates for one reason or another."

"Well, that does need to change, Gorilla, or they won't choose him anymore, it's as simple as that."

Meanwhile, both Sid and the Boss Man lying in the middle of the ring; both their corners yelling for them to tag-hold on, the Boss Man getting up first, he sees Sid lying flat on the mat, he's crawling over, and yes, we have a cover!"

"Oh no, not like this...!" Ventura lamented.

"Yes, like this," Monsoon grinned at the chance to turn the Body's words against him once the Boss Man did in fact get a three count on Sid.

"Now that's not fair, Gorilla, he took advantage of Sid after Bad News's sneak attack...!"

"I'd hardly call a frontal assault a sneak attack, Jesse, and it suffices to say the Boss Man did nothing illegal at all here. At any rate, the pendulum has certainly swung towards the Mighty Matadors, who now have a four to three advantage. Ramon in now, kicking the Boss Man in the chest, now whipping him into the ropes and flattening him with a forearm smash. Razor Ramon oozing confidence, twisting the Boss Man's legs into a pretzel, Boss Man grimacing but refusing to cry out in agony. Ramon applying more and more pressure, Boss Man swiping at him, but out of reach. Finally Ramon lets go, jumps on the former prison guard's back, and starts...no, Boss Man rears up and bumps him in the most painful of places, and makes the tag to the Junkyard Dog! JYD barreling in, buries Ramon under a barrage of blows, now picks him up and slams him down. JYD off the ropes, dives...no, misses there. Razor Ramon to the corner, tags in the Model. Rick Martel in, gutwrench suplex of the Dog; the cover: one...Dog kicks out rather quickly there; rather nonchalant cover by Martel there. Martel flings him off the ropes, ducks under the Dog's clothesline, and...whoa, they both tag each other down on the rebound! Both men lying in the middle of the ring, their corners yelling at them to get up and cover, and it looks like...yes, Martel getting up, he's rolling over, and he's got JYD covered: one, two...no, just kicked out at the last second. Martel also complaining about the referee's count, and while he does, Junkyard Dog pulls him down into a crucifix; one, two...scissor kick by Martel breaks that hold. Action going fast and furious in this one, as we look at Tito Santana and the Big Boss Man on the apron, looking rather worried at the moment, the whereabouts of their teammates in the Mega Powers Rock 'n Wrestling Connection still unknown to us at this time; of everyone else on the team, only Roddy Piper's whereabouts known at this moment, as he's with his team, Roddy's Rowdies, backstage."

"I said it before and I'll say it again, Gorilla; Hogan just plain chickened out."

"Martel trying to get JYD up for a suplex," Monsoon ignored him, "but the Dog fighting it for all it's worth...and in fact JYD pulls him down instead, and we have the cover: one, two...Razor Ramon into the ring to break it up; referee cuts him off and herds him out...and look at this, Valentine in the ring behind the ref's back and rolls them over so Martel's on top, and he jumps out before the ref turns around, and here's the count again; give me a break!"

"Well, it's three on three now, Gorilla," Ventura smirked as the bell rang, eliminating the Junkyard Dog.

"Tito Santana into the ring in a flash, inverted atomic drop on his former partner right off the bat, and the Model goes reeling. Santana like a flash of lightning, up to the top rope, down and takes Martel down. One, two...no. Santana up again in a flash, flips Martel into the ropes, flips him high up over his head, wham, Martel lands like a rock! Now a backbreaker, and beauty; the Model now in a heap of trouble. Neckbreaker by Santana as well, another cover: one, two...again no dice. But now a rake of the eyes by Martel, who springs up to his feet, kick to the chest, snaps Santana over his shoulder, now drops the elbow on him, and he goes for the cover: one, two...no; that hand was just about to hit for three."

"If I were Martel, I'd keep pouring it on; don't let up on Chico for one second."

"Rick Martel doing just that, dropping the knee into Santana's chest again and again. He's looking a lot more confident now as he starts climbing up to the top rope, Martel looks down at his former partner with contempt and leaps...and nobody home! Santana back on his feet, grabs Martel's legs; is he going to give the Model a taste of his own patented Boston Crab? Yes, it looks like he is; Santana struggling to turn Martel over, and now he's got him over in the Boston Crab! Valentine and Ramon rushing in to break it up, but the Boss Man and Beefcake knock them down and hold them down! Martel in agony as Santana pours it on, he's reaching for the ropes, trying to get to the ropes...and he can't, and he taps out! Tito Santana has proven himself the better member of Strike Force!"

"No he hasn't; he wouldn't have gotten this if his team hadn't interfered!' Ventura complained.

"Even though Martel's team was coming in to interfere first? At any rate, the Model's Marauders have to finish the match without their captain, and it's Greg Valentine now grappling with Tito; these two of course long time rivals for the Intercontinental championship for several years, and now they're going at it blow for blow in the middle of the ring just like old times. Valentine shoves Tito backwards on to the mat, drops the leg on his chest, then hooks it for a quick cover: one, two, kickout by Tito. Valentine whips him into the ropes and plants the boot onto his face. Hammer drops the elbow now, off the ropes himself dives...and misses! Valentine quickly to his feet, grabs Tito by the legs and drags him away from his corner before he can tag Beefcake; is he going to try the Figure Four here?"

"I would; even if he fails to get Chico to submit, a well-applied Figure Four would weaken him good."

"Jimmy Hart in fact signaling for Valentine to go for it, and it looks like he is...but Tito kicks out hard! Santana crawling towards the corner, his teammates reaching out for the tag, but on the other side, Valentine tags in Ramon, and the Bad Guy gets to Santana before he can make the tag."

"All right, now we'll see who has the most machismo among the Latin wrestlers here in the WWF, and I'm willing to wager it ain't Chico."

"Razor Ramon whips Santana into the corner, charges and a big splash, snaps him over his shoulder, now going up and diving down on top of him. Off the ropes, Ramon sits down hard on Santana's head. Hooks the leg...and only a two count. Flings Santana into the far ropes...but Tito hits him with the elbow on the rebound. Santana goes airborne, and down on Ramon's chest: one, two...no. Razor Ramon whipped into the opposite corner, and now he gets splashed in turn. The crowd cheering Santana on as he hurls him horizontally into the opposite corner-whoa, Ramon almost went clear out of the ring there!"

"The Bad Guy needs a breather; I might consider getting out of the ring for a moment and letting Valentine take it for a while."

"Santana on top of him before he could do just that, and Ramon going into the ropes again, and...wait, he jumps over Santana's head, spins, grabs him, picks him up over his shoulder...!"

"Oh yeah, give him the Razor's Edge, Ramon; let's get Chico out of here!"

"Razor Ramon smiling with confidence, and here it comes-Razor's Edge! Forget about it!"

"And bye bye Chico it is," Ventura grinned at the three count, "Now both teams have to make do without their captains."

"Down to two on two now, Beefcake in next and he swings a...no, he pushes past Ramon and gestures furiously at Valentine; he still wants a piece of his former tag team partner. Razor Ramon obliging and tagging the Hammer back in. Valentine and Beefcake locking up, moving back into the ropes, while the Mouth of the South yells encouragement to his man over the megaphone. Valentine now with what appears to be a low blow there..."

"No, it's just the angle you're at, Gorilla."

"Irish whip into the ropes, and the Hammer downs the Barber with a hard left hook; he'd better not be using a closed fist there. Backbreaker and a beauty by Valentine, and Brutus in a bit of a hole."

"Yep, right now he's thinking, 'I'd better be careful what I wish for,' and 'Boy, Greg really WAS the driving force behind the Dream Team.'"

"Hip toss sends Beefcake halfway across the ring, Valentine charging in and a big splash on him. Cover...no, Valentine yanks him up; he's not done with him yet."

"Well he'd better get Beefcake out of that corner; those oversized hedge clippers are easily within reach, and Beefcake certainly wouldn't be above using them as a foreign object in a crisis."

"He would not use them like that...Beefcake flung hard into the corner; the Hammer in complete control at the moment, flings his former Dream Team partner into the opposite corner as well. Now a tag to Razor, and Ramon whips Brutus into the ropes, leaps over the rebound, then flips him really high in the air..."

"Wow, I've never seen a barber fly before, Monsoon..."

"Will you get serious!? Beefcake in serious trouble; Boss Man with his arm extended well into the ring, all but begging Brutus to try and tag, but Razor Ramon has him cut off on the far side of the ring, pounding away on his chest and face. Ramon going up to the top rope, and here he goes, down and a hard punch to the face that sends the Barber reeling. Ramon going up again, Beefcake trying to crawl away, but he doesn't appear to have enough momentum-wham, Ramon down hard on top of him...one, two, three; that's it for Brutus."

"Now, the question is, does Razor get to cut _his_ hair now?"

"No way, and as you can see, the ring officials removing Brutus's shears as he's rolled out of the ring. Boss Man standing alone now, and he immediately jumps on the shoulders of Razor Ramon and starts whaling away at him, Ramon loses his balance and topples over; Boss Man still punching away; referee trying to pull him off, and does...and Ramon sucker-punches the Boss Man in the chest! Boss Man enraged, rushes Ramon into the ropes, whips him to the other side, and...whoa, there's patented Boss Man Slam! The cover: one, two...Valentine in to make the save. Boss Man shoving the Hammer away and drops the elbow on the Bad Guy. Now a slingshot into the corner, and a beauty. Boss Man whips Ramon into the corner, charges in-nope, no one home. Ramon rushing over and tagging in Valentine; the Hammer running in, but the Boss Man turns and belts him hard in the chest. Snap suplex sends him over his shoulder, and the Boss Man drops down hard on him-and there's a cover, one, two...no. Valentine into the ropes, downed with a hard smash. Now Boss Man gives him a big suplex, and a beauty. Boss Man off the ropes, big splash on the Hammer: one, two...just missed there as well. Valentine into the ropes yet again, no, wait, he leapfrogs over the Boss Man, swings and misses, and the Boss Man gives him an atomic drop; Valentine clutching his legs in agony."

"But Valentine has the benefit of being able to tag out; Boss Man's got to survive on his own."

"And the Big Boss Man looks up to the task with a hard overhand chop to Valentine's back. Starts to fling him into the opposing ropes, charges forward and takes him down again with another forearm smash, and...look at this, Jimmy Hart grabbing the leg and felling him; that's twice in this match-and Valentine again over for the cover! Razor Ramon diving off the apron and grabbing the other leg; they're holding the Boss Man down, no, ref, don't...!"

But the referee, not seeing Valentine's manager and partner doing their dirty work, counted to three, ending the match. "Here are the sole survivors, Razor Ramon and Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine!" Finkel announced the official decision to rampant booing. "Rather tainted victory here for the Hammer and the Bad Guy," Monsoon grumbled, "And Jimmy Hart ought to be announced as a co-winner as well; he helped eliminate half the Mighty Matadors!"

"A third of them," Ventura corrected him with a smug expression, "And I'd take that as a complement if I were Jimmy Hart; he's a wrestler's manager, actively helping his men."

"He's a lying weasel and you know it, and he's...hold the phone, Boss Man's got his nightstick, and he looks furious! Boss Man charging at Razor Ramon and Greg Valentine, chases them and the Mouth out of the ring and up the aisle; he may have been swindled, but he's going to get justice."

"What a sore loser; he should know working with the criminal justice system that the outcome isn't always the way you want it."

"But let's look at the replay here: Boss Man was doing just fine, and then that runt Jimmy Hart reaches in and trips him plain as day! And then both the Mouth and Ramon holding down the Boss Man's legs for all it's worth; shades of Bobby Heenan swindling the Ultimate Warrior out of the Intercontinental championship a while back. And speaking of the Warrior, he'll be featured in our next match; let's go backstage to 'Mean' Gene Okerlund, who's with the Warrior and his team..."

* * *

><p>"Well, they gave it their best," Keith shrugged in the front row, but he nonetheless looked disappointed the match had ended the way it did.<p>

"Well that creep Jimmy Hart needs to get his due some time; how long is he going to get away with trash like this?" Diana was more incensed, "I always have to live with the memory of him hitting Tom with the megaphone to help cost Davey the tag team belts, and he's going to keep on doing it until someone stops him; I think you should file a formal complaint with Jack Tunney on him, Dad."

"What good would that do, Diana; it's all about the money for Tunney," Bruce grumbled.

"No it's not, it's...!"

"Enough, enough," Stu waved his children silent, "I'm going to go back and have a word with Mr. Traylor about Mr. Hogan's absence."

"Pick me up another hot dog and popcorn while you're out, Dad," Dean asked laconically.

"You're not a cripple even with that dialysis machine; what's so wrong with getting it yourself?" Ellie ripped him.

"Well excuse me, sister; I didn't realize that some people have no sympathy for...!"

"How can I have sympathy for a compulsive gambler-especially one whom I'm sure raids his family's personal bank accounts, all of them, to pay his and his brother's addictions?" she glared both him and Smith down, "As I was saying, Dad, I found..."

"Later, Ellie dear; first things first," their father was already leaving to give the Boss Man the news. "You just can't win, can you?" Dean smirked at her.

"I can wipe that grin off your face in five seconds, Dean Hart!" she held a fist in his face, "And I will if you and Smith don't come clean when Dad gets back."

"Come clean to what? We haven't done anything wrong," Smith insisted with a phony grin, "Come on, Dean, I'll get you that hot dog and popcorn myself."

"Thank you; I appreciate a family member willing to actually show me genuine affection," Dean hefted his portable dialysis machine and followed his oldest brother up the aisle. "I'm just going to say it," Ross grumbled when they were gone, "How do we know THEY didn't forge Dad's name on that foreclosure notice?"

"Well, we're not here to accuse each other," Helen tried again to keep the peace, "We're here to enjoy the matches, and the next one should be starting pretty soon..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Good work there in making sure our boys won that match, Hart," Don Kennedesco Vincenelli told the Mouth of the South over the phone in his study.

"Don't mention it at all, Don Vincenelli; just showing why I'm the smartest of your managers," Jimmy boasted proudly.

"Sure, sure. Well, keep up the good work the rest of the night, Hart; the more my teams win, the better for my organization, and likewise for you."

"I know. Well, got to go, Don Vincenelli; Adrian and Honky are up in the next match, and we should be going on pretty soon."

"Do whatever it takes there too, Hart," the don told him in closing before he hung up. He bustled back into the front parlor, where numerous other members of the Vincenelli family were sprawled in furniture all around his big screen TV set. "We're all set for the next match," he told them all, "Hart's getting a bonus for getting personally involved to help win the last one."

"Your father would be proud of you, Kennedesco," commended a white-haired uncle, "You have just the right way of being able to judge who's greedy enough to want to sign up."

"It's a natural talent, Uncle Ernie," the don grinned, "And there'll always be greedy, power-mad fools in the wrestling business willing to sign on to work with us. Once we get enough of them, and the titles to go with them, we can get rid of that idiot Jack Tunney and put an end to his crap about catering to the kiddies. And then, we can embark on a grander plan that'll make us even more money..."

"Operation No Boundaries," the don's nephew Stefano grandly declared from the corner, "We give the viewers what the really want: blood, sex, gore, the works. Hours-long free-for-alls where the blood flows like rivers; attractive women wearing almost nothing, or even nothing; beer and drugs flowing like water..."

"Stefano, I'm in charge, I tell the family everything," his uncle cut him off. "Like my too eager nephew said, though," he told the rest of his family, "The WWF's going to make money for years, and once we do wrest control of it from Tunney, we bury the stupid kids and open up the violence and sex. Guaranteed additional money, especially if Tunney succeeds in running all the other territories out of business before that point so we're the only game in town then, and hopefully stacked with loads of corrupt wrestlers willing to take the dive for profit to give out whatever results we want in the matches. It'll be a gold mine, and it'll be all ours."

"And then we whip Tunney down and cut off his..." an elderly aunt started to roar murderously.

"Shhh, not now, Aunt Leona," Don Vincenelli cut her off, pointing at the TV, "Here comes the next match. Enjoy it while you can, you dupes," he snickered at the cheering fans, "The winds of change are already blowing, and they're blowing in my favor. All I need is someone who can step in for Tunney when the time comes and be a nice, docile puppet..."

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentlemen, now introducing the members of the Rock and Rollers!" Finkel announced to the Saddledome, "First accompanied by his personal trainer, Frenchy Martin, from Montreal, weighing 265 pounds, here is Canada's strongest man, Dino Bravo!"<p>

"Now why are they booing Bravo?" Ventura complained at the boos in fact raining down, "They've got to have more respect than this for their national weightlifting champion!"

"Well, Jesse, maybe it's because they know Dino Bravo is a coward and a cheat through and through," Monsoon pointed out firmly, "As, I may point out, are the rest of the Rock and Rollers."

"So YOU say," Ventura griped, turning back to the aisle as the introductions for the Rock and Rollers continued: "Accompanied by his manager, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan, from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing 245 pounds, the King Harley Race! Accompanied by his manager, Mr. Fuji, from Sunset Beach, Hawaii, weighing 275 pounds, the Magnificent Don Muraco! From New York City, weighing 338 pounds, Adrian Adonis! From parts unknown, weighing 243 pounds, Doink the Clown!"

"Look at this poor excuse for an entertainer," Monsoon grumbled, pointing at Doink maliciously bonking people along the aisle over the head with an inflatable hammer balloon, laughing darkly as he did, "How he ever got to be allowed into wrestling, I don't know."

"Oh lighten up, Gorilla, I think he's genuinely funny," Ventura was in fact chuckling at Doink's "antics."

"You need your head examined," Monsoon rolled his eyes in disgust as Doink then coldly squirted the woman seated in the front row at the edge of the aisle with water from his buttonhole flower (which sent Ventura into near hysterical laughter) before joining his partners in the ring. The music switched to an old time rock and roll piece to accompany the introduction: "And the team captain, accompanied by his manager, Colonel Jimmy Hart, from Memphis, Tennessee, weighing 247 pounds, the Honky Tonk Man!"

"Honky Tonk Man looking all revved up as he enters the building behind the Colonel; he's quoted in the WWF Magazine that he considers it a great honor to be chosen as team captain, so let's see if he's got enough talent to back up that decision," Monsoon remarked.

"Well of course he's got the talent, Monsoon, or Tunney wouldn't have chosen him," Ventura countered.

"Or was it perhaps that Jimmy Hart used a little blackmail, perhaps? Honky Tonk Man entering the ring and strutting his stuff while clanging away at that infernal guitar, and looking around, nobody appears impressed at all. We're awaiting now the arrival of their opponents for this match..."

A high energy theme kicked in full blast, sending the crowd into cheers. "And now, the members of the Ultimate Warriors!" Finkel proclaimed, "First, from Union City, Tennessee, weighing 240 pounds, Koko B. Ware! Accompanied by his manager, Captain Lou Albano, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing 288 pounds, George 'the Animal' Steele! From Mud Lick, Kentucky, weighing 320 pounds, Hillbilly Jim! From the Fiji Islands, weighing 250 pounds, Superfly Jimmy Snuka! From Vero Beach, Florida, weighing 225 pounds, Red Rooster!"

"This place is going to explode any minute now," Monsoon predicted, and indeed the Saddledome did as the familiar music roared to life, and the announcement came through, "And, the team captain, from parts unknown, weighing 280 pounds, the Ultimate Warrior!"

"Whoa, here comes the Warrior like a rocket taking off!" Monsoon exclaimed at the sight of the Warrior barreling up the aisle at full speed, rolling hard into the ring, bouncing wildly off the ropes, and then shaking them as if he were having a seizure, "A standing ovation for the Ultimate Warrior; he is clearly ready for this one."

"He may be, but I have doubts; in fact, this is probably the easiest match to call," Ventura predicted confidently, "I mean, look at who the Warrior's got backing him up: you've got an over the hill bum in Snuka, a no talent hack in Koko-Frankie the parrot would probably do better in the ring than him-an even more talentless hack in the Rooster, a complete joke in Hillbilly who has no business being in the wrestling business anyway, and an escaped mental patient in the Animal. Meanwhile on the other side, you have two former Intercontinental champions in Honky and Muraco, a former tag team champion in Adonis, you have the King, who was world champion in several other promotions before coming here to the WWF, you have Bravo, who's the strongest man in the world, and for every terrible thing you and McMahon say about the clown, Doink actually isn't that bad in the ring, not to mention he's funny as hell."

"To you, Jesse, perhaps, but I don't find any of Doink's antics so far amusing at all. We're ready to go, and it looks like we're going to have a Summer Slam rematch to start off, as the Warrior himself stands in the ring across from Don Muraco, and there goes the bell."

"Good thinking by the Honky Tonk Man; he knew the Warrior's ego would preclude putting himself in the ring first, and he knew Muraco wants revenge for having been back-jumped and humiliated by the Warrior at Summer Slam, and he's putting Muraco in off the bat to get that chance for justice."

Both men hooking up as we start the match, Muraco with a hip toss sending the Warrior to the mat; Warrior right back up and flattens the Magnificent One with a clothesline. Muraco in turn back up, hard roundhouse right misses the mark; the Warrior picks him up and plants him hard. Muraco staggering; the Warrior prancing around the ring, belts him hard in the face, now off the ropes and drops him with another right cross. Ultimate Warrior on a roll, off the ropes again, he dives...and Muraco rolls out of the way in time. Don Muraco over to his corner and tags in Adrian Adonis, but stays in the ring, and he and Adonis now double-teaming the Warrior and pounding him down hard to the mat! Get him out of here, ref!"

"He's got till five, Gorilla, remember?"

"He's been in there at least ten seconds and counting so far, Jesse! Referee Joey Marella trying to get Muraco out of the ring, and finally he does, but the damage done; Adrian Adonis picks the Warrior up, and, yes, a suplex and a beauty. Cover: one...easy kickout, and a rather nonchalant cover there by Adonis."

"He knows he has all the time in the world, Gorilla; the Warrior's ego makes sure he won't tag out until he's shown the world how supposedly great he is."

"Adonis whips the Warrior into the corner, charges in-but no one home. Warrior dancing around, kicks Adonis in the back and trying the yank him backwards to the mat..."

"He's grabbing the hair there, he'd better stop if he knows what's good for him."

"Ultimate Warrior unsuccessful in that tactic, so now ramming Adonis head-first in the back; now a snap suplex bring him down, and the cover: one, two...no. Warrior goes up and down hard on Adonis's chest, now whips him into the ropes, and a forearm smash down him. Warrior off the ropes again, and...down he goes on him! One, two...just missed it again. Warrior now making the tag to Hillbilly Jim, and the good old boy in to start slugging away at Adonis. Whips him off...no, Adonis reverses it, throws _him_ into the ropes and gives him a hard kick to the chest. Tag to the King; Harley Race in and pounds Hillbilly down to the mat. Race going up to the top rope, here he comes, and a power punch takes Hillbilly down again. A cover: one, two...not quite. Race undeterred, flings him into the corner, up on the shoulders, and slugging away hard. Steps back, and now jumps hard into him. Race grabs Hillbilly around the head, drags him back to his corner, allows his partners to all have free shots at him."

"Might as well; that way if Hillbilly's pinned, they can all take credit in beating him."

"Harley Race dumps Hillbilly Jim to the mat, going up to the top rope again, here he comes once more...and nobody home! Hillbilly scrambling to his corner, and a tag to Red Rooster. Red crowing loudly for the fans, now rushes in right at the King and jumps at...whoooooooaa, look at that, Race catches him in midair and powerslams him, and just like that a cover, and one, two, three; the Rooster's out of there already! I don't believe it!"

"Wow, THAT was fast, Gorilla. But of course, when you put together a team based on inferior talent like the Warrior did, things like this are bound to happen. And this has to be a record of some kind."

"Timekeeper telling us Red Rooster was in there all of eight seconds; you're right, that might just be a record."

"And Heenan's ecstatic outside; that makes two ungrateful former Heenan Family members given their comeuppance so far tonight."

"Superfly in there now, giving the King a knee to the chest, now Irish whip, jumps over Race, and fells him with a dropkick. Race tags the Honky Tonk Man, who confidently comes in, blocks the Superfly's swing, and dishes out a kick to the chest. Honky Tonk Man dragging Jimmy Snuka over the corner and proceeding to smash his face off the turnbuckle; now he's draping his neck over the rope and pushing down; come on ref, break this up!"

"Don't worry, Monsoon; like it says on the tights, he won't be cruel."

"Will you stop!? Snap suplex sends Snuka sprawling..."

"And for those of you at home, try saying _that_ five times fast..."

"WILL YOU STOP!? Honky Tonk Man going up, here he comes down off the top rope-and misses! Superfly with a tag to the Warrior, and Honky quickly bails out, tagging Bravo."

"Honky's smart; he doesn't want to risk an early elimination to the only guy on the other side who can stop him."

"I'd say he's being a coward, as usual. Dino Bravo in there now, right cross misses, and the Warrior gives him an inverted atomic drop for his troubles. Frenchy Martin and Jimmy Hart yelling at their man to get with the program outside the ring; Bravo being flung off the ropes, ducks under a Warrior clothesline, goes for the dropkick off the ropes, but no one home. Warrior stomps on the chest, drops the elbow, and we have a cover: one, two...foot was on the ropes. Warrior goes airborne and down on Bravo's chest, a few quick punches to his face..."

"He's choking him, Gorilla; look at it, he's choking him!" Ventura protested, pointing, but the Warrior had hauled Bravo up for a slam before Monsoon could look. "Warrior going up to the top rope now," Monsoon continued the commentary, "here he comes-direct impact. Cover: one, two...no dice; that hand was coming down for the three, though. Bravo dazed as the Warrior tags in the Animal; George Steele appears to be barking at Bravo for whatever reason. Steele grabs the legs and starts spinning him around in a circle; I really don't know what he's planning on doing here, but...whoa, Steele hurls Bravo hard into the ring post, and Dino grimacing in clear pain."

"He'd better tag out; the Animal's getting rabid early here."

"George Steele now ripping open the turnbuckle cover and tossing the stuffing everywhere; I think he's swallowing some too. Bravo up, hobbling towards the Animal; Steele turns and spits the some of the stuffing in his face. Bravo picked up, slammed hard to the mat; Steele goes up high and comes down hard: one, two...just missed there too. Dino Bravo offering no offense so far in the ring, and now he's flung into the ropes and belted hard across the...hang on, what's going on over there?" he frowned towards the Rock and Rollers' corner, "Doink now holding this long cylindrical can of some kind, he's leaning partially into the ring and shaking it, it seems to be getting the Animal's attention. Steele staring as if mesmerized at the can; Doink appears to be offering it to him as now Frenchy Martin leaps up on the apron. Joey Marella over to warn him to get down as Steele leaves Bravo to go over to Doink; I think he's making a big mistake here..."

"Let's see what happens; this looks like the old snakes in a can ploy Doink's got cooked up if I'm not mistaken."

"Whatever it is, it's a foreign object, and Doink had no business bringing it to ringside. Doink nodding and handing it to the Animal, who stares straight at the can..."

With a loud boing and poof, snakes did in fact fly out of the can once the lid unexpectedly exploded off-but so too did a large flash of fire and smoke. Blinded, Steele howled and stumbled backwards. Ventura keeled backwards in his chair, laughing uncontrollably. "Oh did you see the look on that idiot's face when it blew up on him?" he managed to say between heavy laughter.

"You think that was funny, Jesse!?" an irate Monsoon upbraided him.

"Oh yeah, it was a riot; have a sense of humor, Monsoon!"

"He may have caused permanent eye damage to the Animal, and you think that's funny!? Steele tumbling right towards Bravo, who grabs the legs and pulls him down just as Frenchy gets off the apron, here comes Joey Marella over, the cover, the count, and the Animal's gone. What a disgrace!"

"What a great bit of comedy," Ventura was still snorting in laughter as he pushed his chair back upright and sat down again, "Doink ought to get the Mark Twain Prize this year."

"He ought to get a lifetime ban! Jack Tunney now storming over to warn Doink about that abominable tactic; he might see a hefty fine for this. Joey Marella trying to clean out the ring as Koko B. Ware comes in for the first time. Big slam on Dino; now Koko off the ropes and drops the leg hard into his chest. The elimination of George Steele notwithstanding, Bravo still in a bit of a hole here as he's now whipped into the corner, and big splash by Koko, who goes up and rains down the punches: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Bravo flung the other post, well away from any possible tags to his partners; a very rough outing for the self-proclaimed world's strongest man so far-and now a powerslam! Koko flapping his arms in celebration-and now he hoists Dino up, and here comes the Ghostbuster-yes! Forget about it!"

Indeed, a quick three count easily eliminated Bravo. "Finally a victory for the Ultimate Warriors, who are now only in a five to four hole. Doink now running in and gets immediately flattened with a smash to the face-but he grabs Koko's leg and pulls him off his feet..."

"Go on, go for the Stump Puller, Doink, and make me laugh some more while you do it!" Ventura encouraged the clown.

"Koko instead with a big kickout, and Doink goes flying clean out of the ring! Doink taking his time out there, now he's rolling under the ring for whatever...no, here he comes right back out. Koko going up to the top rope as we get a good view of Frankie the parrot on his perch outside, watching his owner in action."

"And like I said before, he's probably a better wrestler than Koko is."

"Will you stop!? The Birdman taking flight, down hard on Doink! Koko picking the clown up, smashing his face off the apron, and...and Jimmy Hart hits him from behind in the head with the megaphone; give me a break! The Mouth's been completely out of control all night! Doink now with the advantage, rolls him into the ring, and flings himself into the ring, landing hard on the Birdman for a cover: one, two...not this time."

"Stump Puller, I want to see the Stump Puller!" the Body encouraged the clown.

"Doink grabs the leg, perhaps he is going to...no, Koko kicks him out again, and Doink goes hard into the ring post, and now he slides clean out of the ring. Koko over to his corner and makes the tag to Hillbilly, who finds...Doink's disappeared again...no, here he comes, looks like he went under the ring again," Monsoon frowned suspiciously, "and the clown now with a tag of his own to Adonis, and the big biker in to lock up with the Southern good old boy."

"North versus South, let's see who wants it more."

"It's easy to see who wants it more; Adonis with a cheap shot kick to Hillbilly's chest. Adrian with a diving smash of Hillbilly's face into the canvas, now off the ropes and down hard on him. Hooks the leg: one, two...no. Adonis stomping in the groin area; he'd better be careful there. Whips him into the ropes, kicks him in the chest again, and then smashes his face into the mat hard again. Tag to Muraco, and the Magnificent One immediately going up to the top rope, here he comes down...and misses! Both men down on the mat; let's see who gets the advantage here."

"That's the problem with those high-risk maneuvers on the top rope, Gorilla; you take too much time up there, and you could give your opponent a second wind easy."

"Hillbilly up first, hauls Muraco up and whips him into...no, Muraco reverses it...Hillbilly reverses again and smashes the beach bum into the corner! Now charging...no, misses. Muraco with a clear handful of hair as he whips Hillbilly into the ropes and tosses him high over his head; big impact there...and Hillbilly trying for the sunset flip, and he got him down: one, two...scissor kick breaks the hold. Hillbilly Jim now with the momentum, and a sharp blow to Muraco's chest, whips him into the ropes and a right cross sends him reeling. Hillbilly going off the ropes himself...and look at that, from the outside, Fuji with a cane shot to the back of Hillbilly's knee, come on! Hillbilly falling flat to the canvas, Muraco over, hooks the leg: one, two, three, give me a break! That's another Ultimate Warrior eliminated by dubious means!"

"Well, like I always say, Gorilla..."

"I know, I know, you win any way you can, Jesse, even though clearly everyone in the Saddledome who very clearly saw Fuji's interference for his man don't agree with you any more than I do," Monsoon held up a spare microphone to catch the rampant booing, "Muraco celebrating; he's got his back to the Ultimate Warriors' corner, and here comes the Warrior in himself...and look at this, he immediately pulls Muraco down from behind! A small package: one, two, three! He got him right off the bat!"

"He pulled the tights!" Ventura roared in frustration, "I want the replay up now; the Ultimate Warrior very visibly pulled Muraco's tights and held on to them to get that pin!"

"Let's take a look here," Monsoon squinted at the replay footage once it came up on the screen, "Hmm, maybe he does grab on a bit there..."

"What's this 'maybe' business; that's a clear cut hold!" the Body bellowed in frustration, "MORE dirty tactics by the always dirty Warrior, and it costs a good wrestler in Muraco a chance to go the distance in this match!"

"Four on three now as Honky with what appears to be great reluctance steps back in to face the opposing captain. Ultimate Warrior with several quick jabs to the Honky Tonk Man's face; now going for a sleeper of sorts..."

"And grabbing the hair again; he needs to be disqualified A.S.A.P.!"

"Honky Tonk Man breaks the hold with an elbow to the chest, now shoves the Warrior down to the mat, off the ropes, drops the hard elbow. The cover: one, two...kickout at the last minute. Honky in control now, whips the Warrior into the corner-look at this, Doink up on his shoulders and holding him in place for the splash; come on-and Doink now riding the Warrior around the ring like a cowboy...!"

"Yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaawwww, ride him, Doink!" Ventura laughed hard again.

"Doink smacking the Warrior hard on the rear end; Joey Marella ordering him to let go, to no avail. Honky Tonk Man running up from behind, kicks both of them hard into the ring post. Doink laughing as he slides out of the ring; Honky drags the Warrior up and starts smashing his face off the turnbuckle, now whips him back into the far corner, rushes-misses this time! Warrior grabs him around the waist and pulls him down..."

"ANOTHER tight pull; open your eyes, Marella!"

"Two count only there. Snuka and Koko calling for the Warrior to tag, but the team captain wanting to stay in a little longer, elbowing Honky hard in the ribs..."

"Of course the Warrior's not going to tag; he wants all the glory for himself-IF he's got the strength to put away the four remaining members of the Rock and Rollers."

"Ultimate Warrior has Honky around the chin, prancing and dancing all around the ring, charges forward and drives his opponent's head into the turnbuckle. Warrior going up to the top rope, has the Honky Tonk Man by the arm, jumps and slugs him down hard. Another cover: one, two...no. Warrior grabbing the ropes and shaking them; looks like he's powering up already..."

"If so, he's peaking too soon; still too many guys on the other team."

"Honky Tonk Man rushing for his corner while the Warrior powers up, tags in Doink, and the clown rushes the Warrior and grabs hold of the leg. Doink pushing the Warrior back into the corner-Warrior up against the post, plants Doink's head in a scissor hold, and slams him down into the lowermost post! Warrior raising the hand in triumph, now going up again-no, Doink grabbing onto the leg and keeping him from doing it. Warrior dropping that tactic, starts to whip Doink into...WHOA, look at that!" Monsoon exclaimed, for Doink's arm apparently came right off the moment the Warrior pulled him out of the corner. Stunned, the Warrior stared at the prosthetic limb in his hands, on which all the fingers except the index and middle abruptly retracted. Without warning, the hand sprung forward on a large spring and poked the Warrior in the eyes. Ventura again fell backwards in his chair, laughing uncontrollably. "That was even better!" he chortled loudly, "Good for you Doink, that was a terrific gag; Moe Howard, eat your heart out!"

"That was terrible!" Monsoon upbraided him, "Doink now pulling his good arm back out of his sleeve and tagging Honky back in. Warrior stumbling back into his corner, Snuka tags his arm, but wait a minute, I don't think the Warrior meant to tag there..."

"Well unfortunately..." Ventura was unable to speak for a few minute between a large burst of laughter before continuing, "unfortunately, Marella saw the tag, so it stands."

"And the Superfly indeed in the ring now, a few quick blows on the Honky Tonk Man, now a big slam. Warrior not out of the ring, he's coming over and shouting at Snuka that he didn't mean to tag him. Joey Marella trying to tell him like you had said, Jesse, that the tag does stand as official. Warrior doesn't look like he's placated, though, and I think he's shouting that he's still the legal man..."

"Well like I said, Gorilla, tough luck for him."

"Snuka shouting at the Warrior to get out and let him have his shot at the Honky Tonk Man, holding the Rock and Rollers' captain at arm length to give-and Honky reverses him with an arm drag while he's shouting at the Warrior and shoves both of them into the ring post! Honky Tonk Man yanks the Superfly back out, gives him a short clothesline, now hooks him into position, and here it comes-Shake, Rattle & Roll! One, two, three; forget about it!"

"And that was the Warrior's fault; if he'd accepted the tag and stayed outside, his team wouldn't be in a four to two hole right now."

"Koko in now, Warrior still in...and it looks like they're going at it now! Koko and the Ultimate Warrior in each other's faces; both looking incensed at each other..."

"And I guess it's safe to say the Ultimate Warriors have completely fallen apart by this point, Gorilla."

"Honky Tonk Man meanwhile with the tag to Harley Race; the King in, grabs both members of the Ultimate Warriors, and gives them a head conk! Race turning his attention to the Birdman, whips him off the ropes and flips him high-Koko now trying for the sunset flip, but a slug to the face stops that. Warrior still in the ring, coming over to attack Race; Joey Marella trying to hold him back, but actually, Jesse, I do have to wonder, who_ is_ the legal man for the Ultimate Warriors right now?"

"Beats me, and I can guarantee you Marella doesn't have a clue either-not that he'd have the brain power to figure it out anyway."

"Warrior with a kick at Race; Koko still yelling at him to get out..."

"Warrior better be careful; Koko could sic Frankie on him if he's not careful, and who knows if that overgrown pigeon's had his rabies shots yet?"

"Will you stop!? Both men yanking the King in different directions; Marella looks just as confused who to tell to get out as we are here...and there's the answer right there, Koko climbing out of the ring, looking furious; I think he's yelling at the Warrior now, 'You want the glory, get it on your own!'-whoa, who could have seen _this_ coming? And it looks...yes, Koko's leaving! Koko B. Ware taking Frankie's perch and walking away from ringside, abandoning the Warrior to the Rock and Rollers!"

"Good for Koko; I usually don't have anything good to say about the man, but I commend the Birdman for making a noble stand here against the Ultimate Warrior's ego."

"Harley Race flattening the Ultimate Warrior with a clothesline, then follows it up with a backbreaker, and the cover: one, two...no. The King going up to the top rope, stands tall, and down-wham! Another cover: one, two...just misses there as well. Race with the tag to Adonis, who hauls the Warrior up and gives him a powerslam..."

"I'm back," Stu announced to his family in the front row, sitting back down, "Mr. Traylor's on it; Bret and Jim'll be picking him up outside as soon as possible."

"And if they destroy anything with that cursed monster truck trying to find Hogan, it's not our fault," Ellie grumbled, "You didn't miss too much, Dad; the Warrior's getting pummeled to a pulp."

"Come on Warrior, you've done it before; do it again!" young Harry cheered him on, grimacing as Adonis gave the Warrior a hard elbow to the throat in the corner.

"Are you kidding; let him get eliminated," Dallas countered to his cousin, "I like Koko, and he chased him off."

"Well maybe it actually was his time in the ring, and..."

"WHOA!" the entire Hart clan gasped as Adonis threw the Warrior out of the ring onto the timekeeper's table, and Race then dove and landed on top of him, smashing the table clean in half. "Wow, give the King a hand there; that was a brilliant maneuver," Ventura applauded on the air, "Great teamwork between him and Adonis."

"What teamwork? Race had no right to do that when he hadn't been tagged, and the Warrior might just have been critically injured in a stunt like that!" Monsoon was appalled, "Adonis, the actual legal man, tagging in Doink, and the clown out of the ring, dragging the Warrior out of the wreckage of the table and back into the ring. Doink waving his arms, he may be ready to go for the Stump Puller, and he's...no he's not, Warrior flips him over for the pin: one, two...just missed-but now the Warrior lifting Doink above his head, and hurls him clean out of the ring! Doink once again rolling under the ring, and now back out again; I'm starting to wonder here..."

"Now what I'm wondering, where'd that fake arm go?" Ventura mused, "He ought to slap the Warrior across the face with that; that'll do the job right, and it'll be another funny joke."

"It'll also get him disqualified, because after what he pulled earlier in the match with the flaming snake can, he has no leeway to work with. Ultimate Warrior diving out of the ring, a hard series off jabs right at Doink's face; now he grabs him by the nose (several people in the front few rows laughed as Doink's nose honked loudly when seized), and whoa, whips him hard into the ring post. Doink trying to crawl under again, but this time the Warrior grabs the legs and pulls him back out, now picks him up for the...and what is this!?" he exclaimed as no fewer than eight identical Doinks crawled out from under the ring and swarmed around the Warrior, pies in hand, "So this is why he kept going out of sight; he had an army under there to relieve him!"

"Never mind that; give him the pies, Doink, whichever one you actually are; let him have it good!" Ventura egged on all the Doinks, who in fact threw their pies in the Warrior's face before he could react, then squirted him in unison with their buttonhole flowers. The bell rang loudly. "Doink the Clown has been disqualified," came the official announcement from Finkel, "Further, if all the Doinks do not leave ringside area at this moment, the real Doink, once identified, will receive a lifetime suspension."

The crowd cheered as one. Growling, the Doinks all took turns stamping on the Warrior's feet as they trudged out of the arena. "You know, there's a weakness in this; if they can't possibly identify the real Doink among them, there's no way they can fine or suspend him," Ventura opined.

"Oh they're figure it out; Doink's been fingerprinted, same as any other wrestler, and it'll be easy matching him up to find the right one," Monsoon told him, "In the meantime, you can bet he will be fined for this trick, keeping lookalikes under the ring so there'd always be a fresh clown to wreak havoc. The match continues now, as Race off the apron and pounding the Warrior to the mats. The King rolls the Warrior into the ring, starts up to the top rope, he takes a look down and leaps-and misses! Ultimate Warrior back to his feet; looks like he's getting powered up again. Race with an axhandle to the back of the head, but no effect! Ultimate Warrior scoops the King up and slams him, and now the cover: one, two...just missed the three count. A lot at stake for the Warrior in this one, as we know he's still trying to impress World Wrestling Federation champion Hulk Hogan into letting him join the Mega Powers Rock 'n Wrestling Connection, so if he can somehow survive on his own against the remaining members of the Rock and Rollers, that just might be enough to give him entrance to the team."

"Sure, and since we know Marella's Hogan's personal ref, he might just disqualify the rest of the Rock and Rollers for no good reason just to give this moron the chance."

"Jesse, I'm getting VERY tired of you harping on Joey Marella, who has done nothing but...Warrior with the hard clothesline, and Harley Race down flat on the mat!" Monsoon stopped the countering in mid-sentence, "Ultimate Warrior grabbing the ropes and shaking them like crazy; he's getting his power from the gods now..."

"But we're not going to tell you at home what that means, because Jack Tunney's insistence on being family friendly amounts to a gag order on some things," the Body grumbled.

"Will you stop!? Warrior with a diving splash on the King, and another cover: one, two...another last second kickout by Race. Ultimate Warrior whips Race into the ropes, Harley ducks under the clothesline attempt, ducks under it again, and a tag to the Honky Tonk Man. Honky hesitantly enters the ring-and the Warrior all over him in a flash, pounding him with everything in his arsenal. Now a gutwrench suplex takes him down, followed by a stomp where it really hurts. Honky Tonk Man throws his hands up in desperation, begging the Warrior to leave him alone, but gets a kick to the chest for his troubles."

"Yeah, the great and good Warrior essentially shooting a surrendering soldier-and look at that, another hair pull!" Ventura complained loudly, "Marella's in his back pocket too, I'll bet-and Warrior now dropping Honky's throat on the ropes too! You complain about that move all the time, Gorilla, and now I don't hear a peep from you; this is hypocrisy at its...!"

"Whoa, Warrior trying the Irish whip, and Honky reverses him straight into Joey Marella, who goes down hard!" Monsoon rose up, concern on his face for Marella's well being, "Ultimate Warrior undeterred, shoves the Honky Tonk Man into the turnbuckle, charges in on him and splashes him hard. More punches to the face as Marella slowly gets up, although he's still...hang on, Honky Tonk Man reaching outside the ropes, here comes Jimmy Hart, who presses the megaphone into his man's hand. Warrior doesn't see it coming, he'd better...oh no, Honky Tonk Man smashes him in the face with the megaphone!" he groaned at the sight of the Warrior crumpling to the mat from the impact, just as Marella returned fully to his feet. The Honky Tonk Man tossed the megaphone back out of the ring and covered the Warrior, then grabbed the ropes for more support once Marella started counting, which proved enough to keep the Warrior down for the three count and the final victory. The bell rang loudly. "Here are the sole survivors," Finkel announced over the booing, "Adrian Adonis, the King Harley Race, and the Honky Tonk Man!"

"Thank you, thank you very much; you're beautiful," the Honky Tonk Man grabbed the microphone and thanked his "fans," oblivious to the boos, "And now, for your pleasure, let's rock with the main song to celebrate."

He took his guitar from his manager and started singing with his theme song as it blared over the loudspeakers, swiveling his hips like crazy to go with it. "Rather revolting display here by the Honky Tonk Man after that cheap garbage win," Monsoon grumbled.

"Well I like it, and look, Race and Adonis can move too," Ventura pointed to the Honky Tonk Man's teammates dancing with him in the ring now."

"Let's take a look back at the replay," Monsoon rolled his eyes, "Honky was in a whole heap of trouble here in the corner, and then just like that, the Mouth gives him that megaphone, and it's lights out for the Ultimate Warrior; what a terrible end to a well-fought match."

"Well look at it this way; it would have been worse if he'd used the guitar," Ventura rationalized, "We all know that might have actually caused some damage...if the Warrior actually had anything inside his head, that is."

"Will you stop!? Stay tuned folks; we're going to take a brief break, and when we come back, we've got out big tag team extravaganza coming your way..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, where have you two been!?" Georgia rather sarcastically greeted Smith and Dean as they finally returned, "Funny you missed an entire match."

"Oh, we were watching, and we enjoyed every last bit of it," Smith grinned, humming softly to himself as he sat down, "I've got Peggy Sue beside me, the Colonel in the back; I'm coming to your town in my pink Cadillac..."

"How can you sing his song so proudly after he did what he did to win!?" Diana frowned at him, "He's a coward through and through."

"Like Mom says; that was no way for him to treat the Warrior," Harry told his uncle firmly.

"None of you have any appreciation for good talent, and the Honky Tonk Man is good talent," Dean shot back.

"Good enough to bet on, perhaps?" Ellie glared him down. "Like I've been trying to say, Dad, I think the two of them are gambling again; I caught them in the closet on the phone before we left," she finally told Stu the whole story.

"It's a lie," Smith insisted, "We were calling Aunt Minnie..."

"What Aunt Minnie, Smith?" Stu frowned at him, "I don't know anyone named Minnie on either side of the family. Is there something you and Dean would like to tell us?"

"Not at all, Dad," his oldest child flashed a big fake innocent grin.

"I don't believe that for one minute," Bruce glared at him as well, "And this opens a whole can of worms as far as I can see. How do we know you two didn't forge Dad's name on that foreclosure paper for the extra money a sale would make?"

"Uh...oh look, here comes the tag team match," Dean quickly spun back towards the ring as the bell started ringing.

"We didn't sign Dad's name on anything," Smith defended his brother and himself, "And why do you all gang up on us when something like this happens?"

"Well, we're going to take a good hard look into this the first chance we get, and I hope you two aren't keeping anything from us," Stu glowered at them, then turned to the ring for Finkel's next set of announcements: "The following contest is a tag team special. Introducing first, the members of Team Number One: from Memphis, Tennessee, and formerly from Montreal, at a total combined weight of 470 pounds, Jacques and Raymond; the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers...!"

"Again, a total lack of respect for the Rougeaus by their former countrymen," up at the broadcast position, Ventura groused at the rampant booing Jacques and Raymond received from the crowd, "After they carried Canada's honor for so long..."

"An honor they gladly sold out for the money Jimmy Hart offered them, all while happily stabbing the Hart Foundation in the back," Monsoon reminded him, "There's nothing honorable about the Rougeaus anymore."

"Sure, Gorilla, I see the way your mind works; Hogan waves Old Glory high, and he's a great patriot; the Rougeaus wave the flag like they're doing now, and they're hypocrites..."

"Well they are; the flag's a great thing, but you shouldn't hide behind it like the Rougeaus do," Monsoon rolled his eyes and watched the introductions continue: "...accompanied by their manager, Mr, Fuji, from parts unknown, at a total combined weight of 618 pounds, the Warlord, and the Barbarian; the Powers of Pain! Accompanied by their manager, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan: from the island of Tonga, at a total combined weight of 630 pounds, Haku and Tama, the Islanders; and, from Amarillo, Texas, at a total combined weight of 477 pounds, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, the Brainbusters! Accompanied by their manager, 'Classy' Freddie Blassie, at a total combined weight of 571 pounds, from Tehran, Iran, the Iron Sheik, and from Moscow in the Soviet Union, Nikolai Volkoff; the Mega Mercenaries!" He paused again while all the teams entered the ring and the music switched from the Rougeaus' upbeat theme to a more hardcore rap piece, "And, the team captains, accompanied by their manager, the Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart, from Allentown, Pennsylvania, at a total combined weight of 585 pounds, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saggs, the Nasty Boys!"

"Welcome to Nastyville, baby!" Jimmy roared out loud in the aisle, raising his megaphone in one hand, and a motorcycle helmet emblazoned with THE NASTY BOYS on the sides in the other as he led the two punks out. "Nasty Boys looking ready for action in spite of reports filtering in to us that the Mouth had to bail them out of prison this afternoon for vandalizing a McDonald's here in Calgary," Monsoon related to the audience.

"No, from what I heard, the McDonald's stiffed them with a too-expensive bill, and the Nasties simply protested that unfairness," Ventura countered.

"Perhaps, Jesse, but protesting by smashing the restaurant's windows and spray-painting the cashiers is not the right way to do it, as Knobbs and Saggs are rumored to have done," Monsoon shot back.

"Cut the music," Blassie grabbed a microphone and ordered the moment the Nasties climbed into the ring. "OK, you overstuffed Canadian turkeys," he barked at the crowd, "You know what time it is: on your feet and show Nikolai some respect while he sings the Soviet National Anthem."

"I'm not standing," Monsoon folded his arms across his chest in disgust.

"Well that's your problem," Ventura rose and removed his pilgrim hat as Volkoff started singing the Soviet anthem, but he had gotten no more than a few words out than a more upbeat rap tune blared up on the loudspeakers, cutting him off. "Yooooo, happy Thanksgiving, Calgary!" bellowed an enthusiastic voice, "Clear the road; we're on our way!"

"Oh no, not _them_!" Ventura groaned in frustration, "If THEY were the best Paul Ellering could come up with to replace the Killer Bees, than this match is as good as...!"

"Oh yes, it's Oscar all right!" Monsoon cheered the sight of the rotund African-American man in the purple star-emblazoned shirt coming through the curtains, "Which means the replacement team is..."

"Here we goooooooo!" Oscar roared over his own microphone as his men, the very large Mo and the absolutely enormous Mabel, came into the arena behind him, drowning Volkoff out as he tried futilely to continue singing the Soviet anthem, "Throw your hands in the air, and wave 'em like you just don't care! We're in the house, we'll destroy the opposition; you know who we are...!"

"MEN ON A MISSION!" the crowd roared, visibly loving every minute of it.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, you got it Calgary!" Oscar commended them all, "It's my man Mo and my other man Mabel; we're here and we're ready, willing, and able! It's the WWF, Survivor Series edition, and we're crashing the party...!"

"MEN ON A MISSION!"

"Will you shut up with that stinking disrespectful hip-hop rap crap!" Blassie bellowed at Oscar, who ignored him and danced with his team. "We're just the start, now say hello to the rest," he continued, "Coming down the aisle now, they're masters of destruction; their opponents fold quick; they all need reconstruction. They're the very close partners of Men on Mission; give it up for Ax and Smash; the only and only Demolition! Yeah, yeah, here comes the Ax, here comes the Smasher; they're Demolition; walking disasters!"

"And indeed Demolition coming down the aisle now," Monsoon noticed Ax and Smash coming through the curtains, "Now the former tag team champions, but strong contenders to have another shot at the belts."

"And if I were them, I'd be embarrassed to be introduced like this," Ventura grumbled.

"Why knock it, Jesse; the kids love it," Monsoon gestured to numerous families around the broadcast position getting down with the music right as Oscar started up again, "Next, they come from the other Land Down Under; they hit you with their lightning and they hit you with their thunder. They're Luke and Butch; they're strong to the last ounce; get on up everyone and do the Bushwhacker Bounce! Yeah, do it like that! Yeah, do it like that!"

And the crowd did in fact begin jerking their arms up and down as the Bushwhackers marched into the arena doing their familiar Walkaround with their arms alternating going up and down. "Oh yeah, this wouldn't be complete without the Marching Morons," Ventura grumbled in disgust, "I hope they're the first ones eliminated."

"Now let's be fair, Jesse; we shouldn't press for anyone to be eliminated," Monsoon scolded him.

"Why not; you complain people should be disqualified all the time!"

"Yo, yo, yo," Oscar continued with the next introduction, "They know how to rock and they know how to roll; they're the Rockers, and over their opponents they'll stroll. So everybody get up, everybody get ready, because here comes Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty!"

"Here they come, give a wave," in the front row, Alison helped baby Brooke wave at the Rockers as they rushed full-tilt into the ring. "I like these guys," Ross declared, still doing the Bushwhacker Walkaround himself, "They should really get a shot at the gold soon."

"I don't know, Ross," Keith was frowning, "Bret thinks there's something just off with these two, especially Michaels..."

"Well, if I think the next team's more than worthy, if they are the next to be introduced," Helen was grinning as she pulled out a small American flag. And indeed, Oscar's next verse confirmed her thoughts: "They fight long and hard for the U.S.A.; they're Captain Lou's boys, and they're here to stay! Mike Rotundo, Barry Windham; no denying they're the best, so give a big hand for the U.S. Express! Oh say, can you see, America's team that fights for you and me!"

"Go get them, Express!" the Hart matriarch stood up and waved her flag high for Windham and Rotundo as they came past the family's seats. "We will," Captain Lou Albano pointed knowing at her as he passed by as well. "This must be a big night for Albano; he doesn't do too much anymore," Wayne mused.

"Well he is getting up there in years now," Stu reminded his son, "And he's had his most success with the Express lately. And all that's left is the captains, so," he glanced at Oscar just as Men on a Mission's manager began his final introduction: "And now our captains, Paul Ellering's team! They brawl like crazy; they're a wrestling dream! Hawk and Animal; hit like a sonic boom; here's the world tag champions, Legion of Doom!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH, WHAT A RUUUUUUSSSSSHH!" Hawk's voice echoed loudly through the Saddledome, followed by the Legion of Doom's theme kicking in full blast. The Saddledome erupted in cheers once Hawk and Animal pushed through the curtains behind Ellering and strode proudly towards the ring, the tag team belts shining proudly around their waists. "Now these guys are great champs," Dallas declared with pride, leaning past his grandmother towards the railing. "Oh, what a rush!" he declared at the champions as they walked past.

"Same to you, little guy," Animal proudly rubbed his hair, making Dallas cry out in delight. "Well, there's a memory you'll have for a long time," Helen pulled him back with a smile.

"I want shoulder pads like theirs for Christmas," the boy declared.

"Well, we'll see what Santa might bring up," the Hart matriarch shared a sideways glance at her husband. Although the bell rang at this point, it took about another minute for everyone to get out of their ring attire. "Finally looks like we're ready to go," Monsoon declared once everyone was set, "A reminder to all of you at home that in a tag team Survivor Series match, if one team member gets eliminated, both team members have to leave the ring area. Referee Dick Kroll clearing the ring of all the managers and extraneous team members, and it looks like we'll be starting off with Ax and the Warlord in there; both men glaring coldly at each other as they lock up, and a hard right cross by the Warlord to start off, followed by a harder right from Ax, and another from the Warlord..."

"Wow, those look pretty brutal already," Ventura exclaimed, "These two really going at it tooth and nail from the start..."

"Nothing but pure hatred between Demolition and the Powers of Pain, stemming from Mr. Fuji stabbing Demolition in the back at the last Survivor Series. Fuji in fact now slamming his cane down on the apron repeatedly; Dick Kroll going over to ask him not to...and look at this, Barbarian into the ring while his back's turned and helps his partner double-team Ax! Turn around, ref!"

"Hey, he's not perfect, Gorilla."

"Barbarian back out before Kroll turns around anyway. Warlord whips Ax into the ropes, Ax ducks under the clothesline, and gives the Warlord one of his own on the rebound! Cover: one, two...Barbarian in again to make the save. Warlord picks Ax up and slams him, now goes for the arm drop...and misses! Ax over to his corner, tags in Marty Jannetty, who knocks the Warlord on his back with an immediate dropkick. Warlord tags in Haku, who instantly assumes a martial arts pose. Karate-style kick misses, and Jannetty grabs the leg and twists it. A kick to Haku's chest sends him down; Jannetty off the ropes and a flying splash. Cover: one...no, foot's on the ropes. Tag by Jannetty to his partner, Shawn Michaels; both Rockers now flipping Haku into the far ropes and down him with a double dropkick. Jannetty climbing out while Michaels whips Haku into the corner, charges in-and gets a kick to the face. Haku rushing over and tags in fellow Heenan Family member Arn Anderson, who twists Michaels into a headlock. Shawn Michaels elbowing him hard in the chest to make him break it, just manages to do so, and goes to tag...he's looking...he tags Animal. Animal in with a vengeance, pounding away on Anderson, now dragging him over his corner, where everyone lifts their boots up, and Animal now smashing Anderson's face into each boot in turn."

"Yeah, that's real fair play there by Legion of Doom's team, Gorilla."

"Animal now suplexing Anderson in the middle of the ring," Monsoon ignored him, "Another cover: one, two...no, shoulder just got up at the last second. So far Legion of Doom's team with all the offense in this one."

"Well don't count the Nasty Boys's team out; they include several former holders of the tag titles and many of the top contenders for the belts right now."

Indeed I'll grant that. Slingshot by Animal into the ring post and a beauty. Arn Anderson stumbling along the ropes, manages to tag the Iron Sheik in, and the big Iranian jumping Animal in a flash...wait, did he bite him there?"

"No he didn't, Monsoon; you must be seeing things."

"I'm pretty sure that...a kick in the chest with one of those controversial pointed-toed boots sends Animal doubling over, and the Sheik now with the advantage. Iron Sheik shoves Animal into the corner and a big splash on him-and now Volkoff coming in as well and starts whaling away on Animal too; get him out of there!"

"Animal's sure finding out why they're called the Mega Mercenaries now, huh? They hit you with tremendous firepower."

"Volkoff finally being shooed out by Dick Kroll, and his partner the Iron Sheik now giving Animal an inverted atomic drop, and then a leg sweep. The cover: one, two...no. Jerry Saggs calling to the Sheik from the corner, and are we about to...yes, we are," he blanched in resignation, "Sheik drags Animal over and gives him a Pit Stop."

"Get ready to get Nastycized with a Pit Stop, Animal!" Saggs laughed as the Sheik rubbed Animal's face into his armpit. The Sheik tagged Saggs in, and the Nasty Boy draped Animal's throat across the rope and jumped on his back, ignoring the crowd's loud cheer of "L.O.D.! L.O.D.!" "Animal taking an awful lot of punishment here, punishment that gets a lot worse as Jimmy Hart starts assailing him from outside the ring too!" Monsoon growled, "Animal snapped back into the ring, trying to crawl to his corner, but Saggs cuts him off and brings the knees down on his chest repeatedly. Another cover: one, two...no. Saggs tagging Volkoff in, and the big Russian helps him whip Animal into the corner hard, and now a double splash by them."

"Animal needs to tag; he's been in there way too long now."

"And Saggs needs to get out of the ring; he's still helping Volkoff double team him. Finally Kroll getting him out, while Volkoff continues pounding on Animal's back. Whips him into the ropes, and another hard clothesline sends him down. Volkoff celebrating his apparent victory over the tag team champ, but he's turning his back on Animal, and Animal crawling towards his corner..."

"Yeah, that's a cardinal mistake to take your eyes off the other guy even if you have him down; turn around you moron!" Ventura tried to warn Volkoff.

"Too late, Animal tags Mike Rotundo in, and Volkoff still celebrating with his back to Rotundo-and look at this, Rotundo pulls him down from behind into a small package: one, two, three! And America bests the Soviet Union in the ring once again!"

"What happened?" a confused Volkoff asked out loud in the ring, staring blankly around once Rotundo released him and focused on fighting an incoming Jacques Rougeau.

'NIKOLAI YOU IDIOT!" a furious Blassie roared at him. The Classy One charged into the ring and chased the Russian out, waving his cane wildly. "How do you like that, you Communist cad!" an ecstatic Helen shouted at him as Volkoff ran past her, too scared of his angry manager hot on his heels to notice. "U.S.A., U.S.A.!" she started the chant that more than a few people nearby took up.

"Oh shut up!" the Sheik bellowed at her as he rushed by, "Don't do it, Freddie; we need him...!"

"U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" Natalya shouted her grandmother's chant after the Iranian as well. "They really needed to have that happen to them, didn't they, grandma?" she asked her.

"Oh, anything that teaches people like them a lesson's always helpful," Helen hugged her close for a moment, then watched Rotundo and Jacques going at it tooth and nail in the ring. "Jacques Rougeau with a dropkick attempt, but Rotundo catches the legs and cracks him like a whip," Monsoon continued his commentary, "Rotundo whirling him around in circles by the legs, flings him hard into the corner. Now a charge in-but Jacques kicks him in the chest and springs upright, and now pushing him back into his own corner-and now Raymond joining his brother in double teaming him; come on ref, break this up!"

"What can I say, Monsoon; they're brothers, and they stand up for each other."

"And clearly cheat for each other too. Raymond now illegally getting into the ring with Jacques and they flip Rotundo into the ropes to-look out, Rotundo tagged big Mabel, and I don't think the Rougeaus saw it, as they drop Rotundo with a double dropkick and-no, wait, now they see Mabel lumbering towards them with that cold glare, and do they look scared! The Rougeaus quickly bailing out of the ring, Jacques tagging in the Barbarian..."

"He's probably their best bet against Mabel, yeah."

"Even the mighty Barbarian looking hesitantly at the enormous Mabel; rushes him nonetheless-and gets flung halfway across the ring for his efforts. Warlord in from behind Mabel's back and gives him an axhandle to the back of the neck; Mabel turns, enraged, picks the Warlord up, and hurls him hard into the Barbarian! Mabel charging at full steam across the ring and pancakes both Powers of Pain into the turnbuckle; now he kicks the Warlord out contemptuously, picks the Barbarian up, and here comes a big slam-yes! The cover: one, two...no. Mabel drops the elbow hard on the Barbarian, and now a tag to Hawk. Hawk in in a flash, takes hold of the Barbarian's legs, and a slingshot hard into the corner. Barbarian doesn't know where he is, now gets whipped into the ropes and takes a boot to the face. Hawk with the cover: one, two...shoulder just came up at the last minute. Hawk up in the air and drives the knees down hard; this crowd eagerly cheering him on. Hawk whips the Barbarian into the corner, rushes him-nope, misses. Barbarian with a desperation tag to Tully Blanchard; he's eager to get out of there after everything he's been though in the last minute or so."

"Now that the Nasty Boys' team has a little momentum, I'd pour it on if I were them."

"I'd hardly call a missed splash after a long stretch of bad luck momentum, but Blanchard regardless with a few quick blows on Hawk, now tries to fling him across the ring, but Hawk manages to stop the momentum in the middle of the ring, and now he reverses-whoa, he just smacked Tully down hard to the mat with that forearm blow! Hawk tags in Luke, who does his unique Bushwhacker Walkaround before launching himself at Blanchard and knocking him down again..."

"Fifty bucks says that lunatic starts biting Blanchard within the next minute."

"Luke abstaining from biting right now, but he does drive the knee into Tully's chest, now whips him into the ropes, and whoa, a big flying tackle takes him down. Luke celebrating with another Walkaround, now charging with a head of steam and clotheslines Tully clean out of the ring! Luke doing the Bushwhacker Walkaround all around the ring to the fans' approval while the Brain goes over to discuss strategy with Tully outside."

"His best strategy ought to be keep the Bushwhackers at arm's length; these two will sucker-punch or sucker-bite you if you give them a chance."

"Luke on top of Blanchard the moment he gets back into the ring, pounds him down hard and a snap suplex over the shoulder. Blanchard stumbling to his corner and tags in Brian Knobbs; on the other end, Luke tags in his cousin, and he and Butch form that battering ram, and here they come straight at Knobbs...and down goes Knobbs! Butch with the cover: one, two...diving save by Saggs to break it up. Butch stands up and drops back first on Knobbs; now whips him to the corner and here he comes-wait, Jimmy Hart just handed Knobbs that motorcycle helmet, and look at this, he clobbers Butch with it once he gets close enough; referee did not see it!"

"Well of course he didn't see it; he's too busy yelling at Saggs."

"Saggs deliberately jumping into the ring to distract him while his partner struck the blow. Knobbs hands the helmet back to the Mouth, covers him as the ref turns around: one, two, three; give me a break!"

"Didn't I say the Marching Morons would be the first ones out from the Legion of Doom Team, Gorilla?" Ventura was grinning in triumph.

"Well what do you expect when the Mouth of the South keeps interfering in every match in this Survivor Series to save his guys! Mo now in to face Knobbs, and the two of them trading blows; both the Nasty Boys and Men on a Mission trained on the streets of their respective cities, so this will be an interesting gauge of which team mastered the school of hard knocks better-as long as that runt Jimmy Hart stays outside the ring."

"Sure, it's always Jimmy Hart's fault if the Nasty Boys' opponents just can't cut it, isn't it?"

"Mo tries to pick Knobbs up for the slam; thumb to the eyes by Knobbs break that attempt, and Knobbs now with a snap suplex over his shoulder to flatten the big guy. Knobbs off the ropes, down hard on top of Mo: one, two...no dice. Knobbs tags in Tama, and the South Pacificer kicking at Mo's chest-wait, Mo grabs the leg and trips him down; now he's hooked it: one, two...no. Mo back to his feet, drops the elbow on Tama, gestures for Mabel to get the boot up, and drives Tama's head into it. Now the tag to his partner, and Mabel lumbers into the ring; Tama looking petrified, backpedaling towards his corner, but Mabel catches up to him before he can get there. Mabel picking Tama up, and a big slam there! Now a backbreaker and beauty, and then the elbow dropped hard into the chest. Mabel up, and now sits down hard on Tama's chest; the Islander's teammates looking worried for his well-being. Mabel whips Tama into the ropes, big boot to the face sends him down again. Another hard elbow drop, and now Mabel tagging Mo back in; he's standing over Tama while Mo goes up to the top rope; I think that Tama's grave has already been dug."

"Tama not moving; he'd better get out of there if he doesn't want to be permanently squashed by what's coming."

"Too late now; Mo measures the distance, and he leaps into Mabel and pushes his partner down on top of Tama!" Monsoon declared loudly. Underneath Mabel's massive girth, Tama could be faintly heard shrieking in agony until the three count was completed, eliminating the Islanders. "Brain looking frustrated that half of his men are gone now, and Men on a Mission just made a statement that they are for real," Monsoon declared, "Mo now facing off with Raymond Rougeau, who wearily keeps glancing at Mabel outside the ring as he takes several quick jabs to the chest, and now an Irish whip into the ropes and a hard right cross from Mo that sends him sprawling."

"Whatever it takes to keep Mabel out of the ring, the Rougeaus better do it, or their team might just find themselves in a big hole."

"Looks like they're doing it now; Jacques illegally entering the ring and jumping Mo from behind; he and Raymond double teaming Mo; come on! And now they slam him face first into the ring post...!"

"Good teamwork there; the Rougeaus work wonderfully together."

"Raymond climbing out now...but I don't think he tagged Jacques in, and the now still illegally in there Jacques now with a dropkick on Mo that sends him sprawling. Mabel roaring at Jacques, who a few weeks ago made comments to the extent that he and his brother were culturally superior as Americans to Men on a Mission; Mabel and Mo have wanted a piece of them since then. Jacques now rams Mo hard into the corner, where Raymond starts choking him out from behind; come on!"

"Like I said, good teamwork."

"Another illegal double-teaming is what I call it-and Jacques suplexes Mo backwards. Oscar trying to yell at the referee that Jacques wasn't tagged in..."

"Like you said last time, too late now; Jacques hoists Mo up on his shoulders as Raymond climbs up to the top rope-and let me point out, Gorilla," Ventura pointed at Monsoon before he could protest, "Since Raymond IS the legal man, anything he does will count."

"Oh no, not like this, not like this!" Monsoon shook his head in disgust.

"Oh yeah, like this; prepare yourselves, folks, for _Le Bomb de Rougeau_," Ventura grandly declared, moments before Raymond dove off the top rope, seized Mo's head between his legs on the way down, and slammed him down hard to the mat. "Raymond with the cover: one, two, three; that's it," Monsoon groaned, his hand over his face, "Oscar slamming his fist in frustration on the apron, and I'd have to agree with him that his team was cheated there. Jacques in fact now doing those ridiculous spring-ups in celebration-but look at this, in comes Smash, who shoves him hard out of the ring and decks Raymond good! Smash whipping Raymond into the ropes and fells him with a stiff clothesline. Now drives his knees hard into Raymond's chest; in comes Jacques again, and he gets a slam of his own for his efforts. Smash on a rampage, off the ropes and down hard on Raymond: one, two...not this time. Smash whips him into the corner, now in with the elbow-Raymond out of the way just in time, and a tag to the Warlord. Warlord coldly grabbing Smash by the hair, smashing his face repeatedly into the turnbuckle. Mr. Fuji eagerly cheering the Warlord on...Warlord in fact clamping the full nelson on Smash! Warlord has the full nelson locked on good, it appears, and Smash flailing like a rag doll...!"

"We're going to get a submission here; you don't survive this too long."

"Or maybe not; Ax in and dropkicks the Warlord down from behind...!"

"But look what good that did; he simply knocked the Warlord down into a cover on his partner."

Warlord with the cover: one, two...Smash escapes at the last possible minute. Referee herding Ax out, while the Warlord takes hold of Smash's throat and throws him down hard onto the ropes behind the ref's back-and now the rest of the Nasty Boys' Team gang up on Smash as well; give me a break! Warlord laughing now, planting a foot on Smash's chest and blocks the ref's view while Fuji hits him in the throat with that cane! That's ingratitude if I ever saw it, after Demolition got Fuji the tag team titles that he probably wouldn't have had a shot at without their services."

"And how would you know that, Gorilla? Maybe it was through Fuji's guidance that Demolition got anywhere near the belts themselves?"

"Warlord now with the tag to Saggs; Saggs drags Smash into the middle of the ring and drops the elbow hard; Smash in a whole heap of trouble. Now Saggs off the ropes and a big splash; hooks the leg: one, two...Ax with a diving save. Saggs whips Smash into the corner, charges in...but Smash gets out of the way at the last second! Smash crawling to the corner; here comes the Barbarian into the ring, grabs him by the legs and starts to drag him back; Smash straining, straining...and makes the tag to Shawn Michaels just before he goes out of range! Michaels in the ring in a flash, knocks the Barbarian out of the ring with a dropkick, then up in a heartbeat and another dropkick tags down Saggs! Michaels off the ropes, and a flying dropkick takes Saggs down again. Saggs peeling for his corner, a tag to Jacques Rougeau; Jacques springs into the ring, charges straight at Shawn with a full head of steam, Shawn leaps out of the way, and Jacques goes over the top rope and down to the floor! Michaels over the top rope himself, drags Jacques up, and smashes his face into those steel steps. Here comes Raymond from behind; preparing to hit Michaels with an axhandle to the back of...no, Marty Jannetty behind him and dropkicks him into the timekeeper's table! The Rockers smash the Rougeaus' heads together...!"

"They'd better watch the count; it's up to six now."

"Shawn Michaels picking Jacques up, and a piledriver onto the mats, and now he's diving through the ropes with the count at eight. Jacques Rougeau lying dazed on the floor; he's only got two seconds left to get back in..."

"Didn't make it," Ventura shook his head in frustration as the bell rang. "Jacques Rougeau has been counted out," came the official decision to a loud cheer from the crowd. "Rougeaus get what might be divine retribution for their cheating earlier in eliminating Men on a Mission, and now the Legion of Doom Team has a four to three advantage," Monsoon managed a small smile, "Arn Anderson in now, sizing Michaels up, now locks up with him, forces him back into the ropes-and it looks like a cheap shot to the chest too. Michaels flung into the ropes, and...no, he goes airborne over Arn on the rebound, over him again on the next rebound-and a Superkick fells Anderson!" he roared with the entire Saddledome, "Shawn with the cover: one, two...Tully Blanchard with the save, but Arn Anderson still down and out. Tully shoving Michaels to try and buy his partner some time. Dick Kroll ordering him out now, and Tully reluctantly obliging. Shawn Michaels meanwhile drops the elbow on Arn, and now he's going up to the top rope. Michaels perched high above the ring; he leaps...Anderson drives the knees up into his chest. Michaels grimacing on the canvas as Anderson slowly gets to his feet; hard blow to Shawn's chest, now a snap suplex, followed by a backbreaker. Anderson with a blatant hair pull, yanking Michaels's head back, trying to clear exert maximum pain on him. Jannetty into the ring to try and break this up, but quickly herded out by Dick Kroll. Anderson pulling harder, Shawn grimacing and fighting it for all it's worth...and now he's slowly getting to his feet! Arn looking worried, and well he should be now as Michaels back him hard into the ring post, breaking the hold. Michaels over and tags in Barry Windham, who charges in and gives Anderson a few quick kicks. Arn slips under the last one, and a quick tag to the Barbarian, who goes straight for the knockout blow with a huge roundhouse right. Windham ducks it, picks the Barbarian up, and an inverted atomic drop sends the big guy stumbling."

"Listen to this crowd; they cheer Windham and Rotundo for being all-American and boo the Rougeaus for the same thing," Ventura shook his head, "Everyone in this building's a hypocrite."

"Barbarian whipped into the far ropes, and Windham gives him a hard kick to the face. Windham up to the top rope; here he comes-wham! One, two...just missed the three count. Windham now whips the Barbarian into the corner, and a big splash. Now up to the second rope, and a suplex-wow, that was impressive! Another cover: one, two...Fuji grabs the leg and pulls him off. Windham incensed, and now he's climbing out of the ring to shout right in Fuji's face! Demolition coming up behind him, ready to back him up; Barry Windham seizing Fuji's cane when the Devious One swings a blow at him and tosses it aside, now he's-no, Barbarian drags Windham back into the ring by his hair."

"I would have just let him go; he would have gotten the countout easily the way the situation was unfolding."

"Barbarian lifting Windham up and dropping him throat first onto the ropes. Now stomping...no, Windham grabs the leg and trips him, and now hooks it for the cover: one, two...look at this, Warlord grabs Fuji's cane and bashes Windham over the head with it, then rolls his partner over on top; referee saw none of it since Fuji was distracting him! Kroll sees the apparent cover now, and Windham's now out cold, and there's the three count," Monsoon rolled his eyes, "Twice in this match now the Nasty Boys' Team introduced a foreign object to help eliminate a component of the Legion of Doom Team!"

"Again, Gorilla, you win whatever way you can."

"Don't remind me. Three on three now with the U.S. Express gone, and it's Hawk coming in to lock up with the Barbarian; Hawk in fact shoving him hard to the canvas, then goes airborne and comes down hard on his chest. Hawk with a wary eye in the corner to make sure the Warlord doesn't come after him, now flinging the Barbarian into the corner, and a hard blow to the head when he comes in. Hawk up on the shoulders and punching away: four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Hawk whips him into the other corner, runs at him, no, leapfrogs over him to the top rope. Hawk clamping both feet around the Barbarian's head...and look at this, he dives backwards off the top rope and drives his face into the mat! Hawk with a quick tag to Ax; Barbarian trying to bail out of there, but to no avail; Ax grabs both legs, slides out of the ring, and yanks them backwards into the ring post; ow, that had to hurt."

"That ought to get him disqualified, quite frankly."

"Warlord running over to take out Ax before...no, intercepted by Smash, who drives his face into the apron and shoves him over the barricades! Ax meanwhile going back up to the top rope, he's going-he doesn't jump. Barbarian gets the legs up; he was faked out there-and now Ax jumps and drives the knees into the Barbarian's head!"

"He should be stopped; he and Smash are going to torture the Barbarian, I just know it."

"It's payback, Jesse, for the Powers of Pain helping Fuji in selling Demolition out. Ax now tagging his partner, and cradles the Barbarian in his arms; I think it's Demolition Decapitation time for the Barbarian."

"Not if Fuji has anything to say about it; here he comes, and he's about to wallop Smash with that cane..."

"No he's not; Smash kicks the cane out of his hands; now he hauls Fuji up by the collar-just look at that angry expression on Smash's face! He's waited a long time now for-DID YOU SEE THAT; SMASH WITH A DIVING PILEDRIVER OF FUJI FROM TEN FEET IN THE AIR!" Monsoon roared in surprise. The Saddledome itself erupted in cheers as well. "Smash picks Fuji up over his head and hurls him into the Warlord as he climbed back over the barricades, and both men go flying back into the front row! Smash back up to the top rope; Barbarian completely out of it in the ring, and here comes Smash-picture perfect Demolition Decapitation! Forget about it!"

And indeed Smash got an easy three count, eliminating the Powers of Pain. "Down to two teams on the other side; Nasty Boys and Brainbusters looking hesitantly at each other; I don't think they know who's going in first," Monsoon noticed, "Finally, Tully climbing in, met halfway by Smash, who drops some quick blows on his back. Smash whips Blanchard into the ropes, and a big boot to the face sends him down hard. Smash off the ropes himself, jumps over Tully the first time, and now a flying elbow drop on his chest. Hooks the leg: one...Arn Anderson in with the quick save. Ref gets him back out as Smash continues on Tully, now twisting the arm in a tight wringer. Kick to the hip, and now a short clothesline. Tag to Marty Jannetty, who goes off the ropes...and gets tripped from the outside by the Brain. But uh oh, he may have made a mistake; Jannetty yanking him up by the lapels, and I think we're about to see the Brain go flying...!"

"Jannetty making the cardinal mistake of taking his eyes off of Blanchard, though, and Tully's starting to get up now."

"And that's not all; from outside, Jimmy Hart again firing that motorcycle helmet into the ring, and Blanchard's got it. Tully Blanchard sneaking up behind Jannetty; referee too busy warning Marty to let Heenan go and not noticing-and it's too late; Blanchard smashes Jannetty across the back of the head with the helmet, which he ever so casually tosses out of the ring before Kroll turns around; give me a break! Tully sits down hard on Jannetty's back, and now twice in a row. Tag to Knobbs, who plants Marty's throat on the ropes and rocks him wildly up and down. Now Knobbs whips Jannetty into the ropes and, whoa, a big clothesline there! Knobbs hurls Jannetty into the corner-and it looks like Saggs is choking him out with the turnbuckle rope; come on!"

"What can I say; the Nasty Boys are upset the Rockers got rid of the Rougeaus in such a cowardly fashion, and they want payback."

"The Rockers did nothing illegal during that stretch of the match, in contrast with Jacques and Raymond. Marty Jannetty looking totally dazed, now getting a Pit Stop of his own courtesy of both Nasty Boys..."

"Well that ought to wake him up nice and good, Gorilla."

"Will you stop!? Another Irish whip, a big boot to the chest, and Knobbs slams Jannetty down face first to the mat. A look there at Shawn Michaels looking on helplessly on the apron as his partner is systematically manhandled in the ring-and Knobbs now with a blatant chokehold on Jannetty. Referee orders him to break it, and he does, but Knobbs immediately drops the elbow hard on Jannetty's throat instead. Now the tag to Saggs, who starts climbing up to the top rope as Knobbs hefts Jannetty over his shoulder..."

"This is it for the Rockers, I just know it. They did good in this match, but Jannetty won't survive the one way Trip to Nastyville he's about to take."

"Marty Jannetty slammed down hard to the mat by Knobbs, and here comes Saggs with the elbow to finish. The cover: one, two, three; we're down to two on two now."

"And now we'll see which side really wants it more."

"Animal in the ring in a flash, and a dropkick sends Saggs hard into the ring post. Now a snap suplex, and a beauty. Animal fired up, hurls Saggs into the far corner, rushes him, and a big splash. Saggs dazed, he doesn't know where he is, and now a neckbreaker takes him down. The cover: one, two...diving save by Knobbs-and Animal bangs their heads together!"

"Admittedly a mistake there by Knobbs; he stayed too close to Animal and let that happen."

"Animal rolls Knobbs out of the ring and drops the leg on Saggs. Tag to Hawk, and both members of the Legion of Doom whip Saggs into the ropes and down him with a double drop kick; this place is going nuts! Saggs bailing out, and a tag to Arn Anderson, who goes full steam at Hawk; Hawk grabs him around the waist, tosses him up in the air-and whoa, Animal slams him down hard!"

"That's terrible; he had no business still being in the ring!"

"Hawk with the tag to Smash, who whips Anderson into the corner, rushes him-and misses. Anderson in turn flips him into the far corner, and he charges-and misses too! Smash off the ropes, Anderson leaps over him, they both leap over each other on the rebound-and whoa, both men flatten each other with hard clotheslines! Smash and Arn Anderson lying in the middle of the ring; their corners alternately yelling at them to either cover or tag; now it looks like Anderson's crawling over, and it looks like, yes, he's got the cover: one, two...Smash kicks out at the last moment. Anderson drops the knees into Smash's chest, now whips him into the ropes, and he...no he's not, Smash drops to the ground, grabs the legs and rolls him up into a small package! One, two, three! And the Nasty Boys stand alone!"

"Well that means nothing; the Nasty Boys have survived worse situations than this."

"Our cameras showing the Mouth of the South sweating, though, as Knobbs rushes in to face Smash. Smash immediately picks him up and slams him. Now a quick tag to Ax, who starts pounding away on Knobbs's back. Meanwhile, Paul Ellering having a conference of sorts with the rest of the Legion of Doom Team; perhaps they have a road map to finishing this match. Ax in the meantime sends Knobbs off the ropes, flings him up the air, now grabs him in midair and slams him down hard; wow, that had to hurt! Ax going up to the top rope; let's see what happens here. Ax goes airborne, down hard on Knobbs...but he's not going for the cover. Now the tag to Animal, who grabs Knobbs by the legs and slingshots him into the turnbuckle. Animal slugging away at Knobbs in the corner...but look out, here comes Saggs from behind with that blasted motorcycle helmet again; he rears back...no, Hawk takes him down and kicks the helmet out of his hands! And now Paul Ellering has it, and the Precious One waves for his man to bring Saggs through the ropes-and lets _him_ have it good!"

"He calls _that_ being an upstanding manager!?"

"I say why not, since Jimmy Hart used the helmet liberally all through the match to unfairly eliminate members of the Legion of Doom Team. Ellering handing the helmet to Ax, and Ax now running around the ring after the Mouth! Jimmy Hart terrified, running for his life up the aisle out of the arena, Ax hot on his heels! Meanwhile, a tag to Hawk, and Animal lifts Knobbs up on his shoulders; I think we're seeing the beginning of the end for the Nasty Boys Team."

"And there's no more Mouth of the South in their corner, so Legion of Doom's probably going to get away with it," the Body conceded in frustration.

"Hawk on the top rope, measuring Knobbs good, the Doomsday Device is coming your way...now! Hawk with the cover: this one's over!"

The bell rang loudly, followed by Hawk's shout of "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT A RUSH!" over the loudspeakers again, and then the Legion of Doom's theme. "Here are the sole survivors, Demolition and the Legion of Doom!" Finkel announced over the loud cheers for the victors. "Strong ovation here for the remaining members of the Legion of Doom Team," Monsoon nodded in satisfaction, "L.O.D. hefting the tag team belts high, while Paul Ellering raises Demolition's hands in triumph; these guys fought hard, and they earned this. Let's take a look back at the replay: here comes Saggs in with the helmet to knock Animal cold, but good alertness there by Hawk to save his partner, and then help give Saggs a taste of his own medicine."

"And how do we know for sure he'd have bashed Animal with the helmet?" Ventura countered, "Maybe he was just..."

"Jesse, I don't see what else he could possibly have been doing, since that's all the helmet was used for all match long, and he sure was rearing back to deliver the blow before Hawk intercepted him. And from there, the final elimination of the Nasty Boys Team with this spot-on Doomsday Device, and it's quite clear why the Legion of Doom is the current tag team champions, as we watch them celebrate with former champs Demolition, who proved themselves just as good tonight as well. Coming your way next, what might simply be the literally biggest Survivor Series team _ever_ put together..."


	4. Chapter 4

"Any news at all, Tito?" a concerned Piper asked the Mexican superstar at the locker room door.

"Nothing, amigo," Tito shook his head, "No word from the Boss Man either. They're really cutting it close now."

"Excuse me, Mr. Piper, it's time," a page came jogging up, "The other team's getting interview by Okerlund now."

"Still no word on Hulk, Roddy?" an equally concerned Tugboat leaned past the Scotsman.

"Doesn't look like it, Tugger," Piper told him miserably, "And it's time for us to get going."

"I'll be waiting by the phone," Tito proposed, "I'll signal from the curtain if anything comes through."

"Guess that's the best we can ask for. Everyone, it's show time," Piper called back into the locker room.

"Faaaaaaaalll out company!" Sergeant Slaughter's voice boomed loudly, "Private Duggan, your flag; we go in waving it high."

"You bet we do, Sarge; let's get cracking, HOOOOOOOOO!" Jim Duggan roared in eager anticipation. Piper shrugged at Tito. "What can I say, we're good and ready-and so am I," a more defiant expression crossing his face, "I've waited three months for another crack at that goon Earthquake, and when we're face to face, I'm going to crack him wide open!"

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentlemen, this next match features the following members of the Natural Disasters!" Finkel declared to the crowd. He waited a second as a traditional Japanese flute piece kicked in, "First, accompanied by his manager, Mr. Fuji, and his American spokesman, James E. Cornette, from Yokohama, Japan, weighing 636 pounds, Yokozuna! Accompanied by their manager, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan, from Atlantic City, New Jersey, weighing 446 pounds, King Kong Bundy; and, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 364 pounds, Big John Studd! Accompanied by his manager, the Wizard, and his personal handler, Kim Chee, from the deepest jungles of Uganda, weighing 375 pounds, Kamala! Accompanied by his manager, 'Classy' Freddie Blassie, from Chicago, weighing 457 pounds, the One Man Gang!" After everyone had climbed into the ring, and the "tremor music" had begun, he finished, "And, the team captain, accompanied by his manager, the Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart, from Vancouver, British Columbia, weighing 468 pounds, Earthquake!"<p>

"Cold, determined look on Earthquake's face as he follows the Mouth towards the ring," Monsoon related from the broadcast position, "Much as I despise everything the man does in the ring, give him credit for putting together a powerful team here."

"Darn right on that," Ventura agreed, "All together the Natural Disasters tip the scales at over a ton and a half; an easy advantage if there ever was one."

"So much weight on the Natural Disasters' team, in fact, that the ring had to be specially reinforced just for this match-and with stuff like this going on, who can blame them for foresightedness?" Monsoon rolled his eyes at Earthquake's usual pre-match ritual of bouncing off the ropes and stomping down hard to generate more "tremors." "Well, anyway, the opposition should be coming out any minute now," he glanced towards the ring right as Finkel declared, "And now, introducing the members of Roddy's Rowdies! First," he snapped to attention almost as if by instinct as the Marine Corps' anthem cranked up, "from Parris Island, South Carolina, weighing 305 pounds, Sergeant Slaughter! From Glen Falls, New York, weighing 270 pounds, 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan...!"

"More hypocrisy by the fans here," Ventura complained to the cheers that greeted both Slaughter and Duggan as they marched proudly into the arena waving American flags high, "They turn on the Rougeaus for waving the flag, but cheer here? Something's wrong here."

"Nothing's wrong, Jesse; they recognize that Sergeant Slaughter and Hacksaw Duggan are true patriots, not like the Rougeaus, and they respect that."

"Well, to be perfectly fair, Gorilla, I will tell all the people at home that I hold nothing against Slaughter; I respect a fellow brother in arms that has helped to make America the great country it is today. He served his country with pride the same as me, and he deserves his cheers. Duggan, though, I can't respect, not when he has a brain the size of a walnut, and does what you accuse the Rougeaus of doing, hides behind the flag..."

"Which even if so, does not negate all the good works that Jim Duggan has done for the fans and the communities that the WWF visits," Monsoon defended Duggan, turning back to the aisle as Roddy's Rowdies continued filtering in: "...accompanied by his manager Sapphire, from Smyrna, Georgia, weighing 302 pounds, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes! From Denton, Texas, weighing 260 pounds, the Texas Tornado, Kerry von Erich! From Boston, Massachusetts, and soon to be relocating to Norfolk, Virginia, weighing 384 pounds, Tugboat! And, the team captain," he paused again as the bagpipes cranked up and the crowd went nuts, "from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing 230 pounds, 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper!"

"Hot Rod looking really determined as he charges up the aisle; he's wanted a piece of Earthquake ever since the Walking Natural Disaster tried to kill him at Summer Slam, and now the hour has come," Monsoon declared.

"Well he'd better be careful, because with the army Earthquake has behind him tonight, he might want to think a bit differently."

"Both teams having last minute discussions as the bell rings, and now they're filing out of the ring, and it looks like we're going to start with...oh yes, Yokozuna versus Jim Duggan, another big score that we've waited to see settled. You may recall, some time ago, 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan volunteered to try and knock Yokozuna off his feet in a friendly U.S. versus Japan encounter; after he managed to successfully do so, a furious Yokozuna Pearl Harbored him from behind and gave him a multitude of those terrible Banzai Drops, sending him to the hospital for several months."

"Well the bad part is, those Banzai Drops apparently didn't fix Duggan's brain; since he's come back, it's clear he's still the loose nutcase he's always been."

"Will you stop!? Jim Duggan immediately getting into that familiar three point stance he usually reserves for the end of matches, and here he comes straight at Yokozuna, and plows straight into his chest, rattling the big guy hard. Duggan with another three point stance, and here he comes again-but Yokozuna grabs him by the beard and yanks him up off the ground. Jim Duggan kicking Yokozuna in the chest, but apparently to no avail. Yokozuna with that cold, heartless glare in his eyes, and now he hurls Hacksaw halfway across the ring!"

"Wow, that was an incredible display of strength by the sumo champ, Gorilla. If I were Duggan, I'd quit now rather than have to be submitted to this for the rest of the match."

"Jim Duggan doesn't know the meaning of the word quit, and look, he's back on his feet already, keeping a wary eye on Yokozuna as he circles around the big guy, looking for an opening...and apparently he sees it; Hacksaw rushing forward and grabbing Yokozuna's leg, trying to pull him off his feet! Yokozuna swaying, swaying-no, he grabbed the ropes for extra leverage-and now a hard chop with his other hand sends Duggan flying into the turnbuckle."

"Good move there; it's easy to see why Yoko was a high-quality champion back in Japan."

"Depending on how you define champion, Jesse; I've in fact spoken to many former sumo wrestlers who faced Yokozuna over there, and they all describe him to a man as, essentially, a loose cannon, a deranged madman bent on not just winning but permanently crippling every single one of his foes; in fact, Yokozuna came here to the WWF precisely because he can't go back; they banned him for life over there for controversial tactics-such as what we're seeing now; Yokozuna smashing Jim Duggan's throat into the top of the ring post; come on ref, stop this monstrosity!"

"Well, at least give him points for originality, Gorilla."

"Originality my...!" Monsoon stopped himself before he could blurt out the curse word, "Duggan straining hard towards his corner, and yes, he manages a tag to the American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Dusty into the ring, grabbing Yokozuna from behind, trying to pull him off Hacksaw; Yokozuna fells him with a hard swat to the face..."

"Yeah, Dusty may be the self-proclaimed American Dream, but he's just a gnat to this guy."

"Yokozuna measuring Dusty Rhodes, and whoa, drops a very hard elbow on him-and now he hooks the leg: one, two...Dusty just avoids the three count. Yokozuna apparently having enough for the time being, and the tag to Big John Studd. Studd in like a rocket, dives at the prostrate Dusty-and misses! Rhodes to his feet, hauls Studd up, and a kick to the chest for his trouble. Rhodes pushes Studd into the ropes, and now pulls him down backwards into a crucifix! One, two...no. Studd swings a roundhouse right, and a block by Dusty. Dusty with a blow to Studd's chest, now whips him into the ropes and a dropkick sends him down hard. Outside the ring, the ever loyal Sapphire trying to urge her man on, and Dusty doing his part, sending Studd into the ropes again, and this time a clothesline takes him down; so far Big John Studd looking like nothing but Big John Dud."

"Big deal; it's still early," Ventura countered.

"Neckbreaker takes Studd down again. Tag to Slaughter, and the former Marine drill sergeant takes Studd by the legs, crosses them, and then a series of kicks to the groin area. Studd failing his arms, practically begging someone on his team to bail him out, but they're all out of tagging range at the moment-and whoa, Slaughter slingshots him into the turnbuckle! Studd in agony, stumbling around; now Slaughter drags him back to the corner and starts pounding his head off the turnbuckle-hold on, here comes Bundy into the ring, and an axhandle to the back of Sarge's head breaks the assault! Referee Dave Hebner yelling at Bundy to get back to his corner, and in the meantime, Studd rushes over and tags the Gang in. One Man Gang in, kicks Sarge in the back before he can completely recover from that sneak attack, now whips him into the corner, charges in-no, Slaughter raises the legs up and gives him a boot to the face. Slaughter now flattens the Gang with a clothesline, and a tag to Hacksaw again. Duggan barrels full tilt into the ring, bowls the Gang over, and now drives the knees into his back..."

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" a pumped-up Duggan shouted to the crowd, then started raining down blows on the Gang. "Hacksaw on a roll, whips the Gang into the ropes, and a big chop takes him down again," Monsoon nodded in satisfaction, "One Man Gang swings and misses; outside the ring, Freddie Blassie shouting at him to get with the program..."

"Yeah, he'd better; Blassie's going to look real bad if his man gets eliminated from this match by someone like Duggan."

"Gang reaching, reaching, and wouldn't you know it, he tags Yokozuna back in, and we're right back where we started. Yokozuna lumbering towards Duggan with his arms outstretched; I think he means to choke the life out of him..."

"Go right ahead, Yoko; America'll be a better place if Duggan's out of the picture."

"Will you stop!? Hacksaw ducks under Yokozuna's grasp, now off the ropes and plows straight into him; Yokozuna sways hard from the impact..."

"HOOOOOOOOOO!" Duggan roared again in delight. He once again assumed the three point stance, bounced hard off the ropes, and raced hard at the former sumo champion-but unfortunately, Yokozuna grabbed him in midair and gave him a particularly vicious powerslam, then covered him for an easy three count. "Hacksaw the first casualty of this match, but at least he tried hard," Monsoon tried to write Duggan a good epitaph.

"And thank you, Yoko; you may be an all-Japanese guy, but right now you did America proud," the Body commended the sumo champion.

"Will you get serious!? It's Piper getting into the ring now, and he looks spitting mad. Piper with a hard dropkick to Yokozuna's chest, and then another..."

"No dice, Piper; you don't get Yoko down that way."

"But maybe this way; Roddy Piper jumps up Yokozuna's back, and I believe, yes, he's clamped on the sleeper hold!" Monsoon roared, "Piper has the sleeper hold locked on; Yokozuna fighting it for all it's worth...and he suddenly backs hard into the ring post, breaking the hold that way-and now he rams that oversized rear end of his into the ring post again and again, sandwiching Piper hard into it! Yokozuna picks Piper up over his head, and now hurls him clear out of the ring, right in the middle of his entourage...and now look at this, Jim Cornette whacking Piper over the head with that tennis racquet of his; come on!"

"Hey, the ref can't call what he can't see, and Yoko's blocking him out."

"He's blocking him on purpose so his corner men can get away with murder. Cornette and Mr. Fuji roll Piper back into the ring right as Yokozuna tags in Earthquake, and the team captain clearing licking his chops for this chance to get Piper while he's down. Earthquake goes high in the air over Piper, drives the leg hard into his chest. Now he does it a second time; Piper looking completely out of it. Earthquake picks Piper up, looks like he's setting up for a big powerslam, and here it...no it doesn't; Piper locks the legs around Earthquake's neck, the big guy sways, sways, and down he goes! Roddy squirms to his corner, tags in Dusty, and the American Dream yanks the Walking Natural Disaster up and gives him a big kick to the chest. Jimmy Hart shouting encouragement to his man through his megaphone, and in the opposite corner Sapphire still cheering on Dusty..."

"Yeah, but Sapphire better keep an eye on the opposing corner; they have her outnumbered seven to one."

"At the moment, Sapphire's eyes glued to the ring as Dusty whips Earthquake into the ropes, and a big dropkick sends him backwards, and now he's tied up in the ropes! Dusty pummeling Earthquake in the chest..."

"Sure, that's awfully sportsmanlike of Rhodes...!"

"...now a kick to the chest, and Dusty finally backs off as the referee sets about freeing Earthquake. Jimmy Hart now up on the apron, trying to work at it as well; Hebner yells at him to get down, but Earthquake already loose, and...wait, look out, Earthquake grabs the Mouth's megaphone off the apron, ref's back's turned as he deals with the Mouth, Dusty isn't paying attention either...and he gets clobbered hard in the face with the megaphone!" he groaned at the exact moment Sapphire let out a shriek at ringside, "Dusty Rhodes crumpling to the mat, Earthquake drops the elbow hard...I think he's laughing in there now. Whips Rhodes hard into the corner, and a big splash there. Earthquake hoists Dusty up over his head; will he be more successful with the powerslam this time...yes he will! Rhodes slammed hard to the mat; that takes a lot of strength for someone at Dusty's weight...and here come the tremors!" he grimaced as a grinning Earthquake stomped hard around his fallen foe, "Earthquake setting up for that devastating finisher of his, which has to date sent forty-six men to the hospital by our best statistics, and here he goes..."

"Dusty Rhodes about to feel a full force ten on the Richter Scale...now!" Ventura laughed in delight the moment Earthquake landed hard on Rhodes, getting another easy three count. "And the Natural Disasters with a quick six to four advantage in this one."

"But wait, Earthquake looking like he's not done yet," Monsoon grimaced harder upon noticing the sick smile spreading on Earthquake's face, "And he's...more tremors," he groaned as the stomping re-commenced, "He's going to give it to him again! Come on, ref, stop this maniac; it's over! Dusty Rhodes is out of here already...!"

"Too late, Gorilla, here he goes again..."

"Earthquake about to jump...whoa, at the last second, Sapphire diving in front of her man, pleading with Earthquake to stop!" Monsoon roared at the unexpected save, "Earthquake bellowing at her to get out of his way, but Sapphire shaking her head tearfully, begging him to let up! What courage by this woman, willing to put herself in harm's way to protect...look at this, Earthquake yanks her up by the hair and throws her halfway across the ring!" he bellowed in anger, "What a heartless brute, manhandling an innocent woman...and here comes that second Earthquake on Rhodes again...OOOOUUCCCHH! Dusty's going to feel that one for the next year."

"Hey, I think he's feeling it right now, Gorilla," Ventura snickered.

"It isn't funny at all, Jesse! Medical crews are on their way to ringside now. Dusty Rhodes looks unconscious; Sapphire appears mostly OK, but they're probably take her back for an examination nonetheless. In the meantime, Tugboat now in the ring, and he looks just as angry that Earthquake would mistreat both Dusty and Sapphire like that. Tugboat furiously yelling at Earthquake to come on and face him like a real man. Earthquake glares him down, now charges towards him, and the two of them bump hard in the middle of the ring. They both back up, charge forward, and collide hard again."

"I'd have to say advantage push right now, Monsoon; they're about evenly matched. In fact, it might be better if they joined forces instead."

"Now why would these two ever join forces, Jesse, especially with Tugboat's status as Hulk Hogan's best friend?"

"Oh yeah, lest we forget, good old Hogan, who still hasn't shown up for this match..."

"As promised to you the viewers, we have been keeping abreast of the situation involving the unknown whereabouts of Hulk Hogan and his Mega Powers Team, who have still not been heard from since this afternoon, and unfortunately, we still have no news to report to you. We had a word with WWF President Jack Tunney backstage between matches, and he did say that a forfeiture to the Million Dollar Team if the Mega Powers Team doesn't show up is real possibility he's considering at this point in time."

"He ought to take it now as far as I'm concerned; if Hogan isn't here by now..."

"Back in the ring," Monsoon turned the conversation back on course, "Tugboat and Earthquake grappling in the center of the ring, still neither man having an advantage...and now a hip toss by Earthquake sends Tugboat flying. Earthquake off the ropes, goes airborne over Tugboat...but nobody home! Tugboat still furious, whips Earthquake into the ropes, and now charges full speed ahead into him. Earthquake reeling, manages to stay on his feet, and a tag to Bundy. King Kong Bundy in officially for the first time, swings a roundhouse right at Tugboat that misses; now Tugboat picks him up and gives him a big atomic drop. Bundy stumbling backwards into the ropes; Tugboat over him, now whaling away hard at him, snaps him forward off the ropes to the mat. Tugboat apparently done for now and tags in the Texas Tornado. Kerry von Erich drags Bundy up, a kick to the chest..."

"Yeah, with that illegal prosthetic foot of his that he bribed Jack Tunney to let him use, very controversially, I may add."

"Let's set the record straight here, Jesse; that prosthetic foot is a legitimate feature to replace the one tragically lost in a motorcycle accident a few years back; it has been officially cleared by the WWF doctors, and the Texas Tornado so far here in the WWF has never once misused it to his advantage. Texas Tornado shoves Bundy into the ropes, goes for the clothesline...Bundy instead flattens him hard to the canvas with a clothesline of his own. King Kong Bundy drops the elbow hard on Kerry von Erich, and another one, and another one. Now a tag to the One Man Gang, who immediately starts climbing the ropes; I think he's going for the 747 right off the bat here."

"Well he'd better speed it up; he's taking awfully long to get into position here."

"One Man Gang in position now and jumps...but he did take too much time; Texas Tornado easily out of the way! Tornado picks him up..."

"He's yanking him up by the mohawk; that should be a disqualification!"

"He was not! Kick to the Gang's chest-and now the von Erich Claw being applied to the Gang's head! The famed Claw mastered by family patriarch Fritz von Erich, which he taught to each of his sons, and Kerry has it locked on the Gang good!"

"Oh yeah, ANOTHER controversial tactic by the Tornado that Tunney lets slide!"

"Gang swings and connects with the Tornado's face to break the Claw, and now a chokehold on him. Dave Hebner orders him to release it..."

"Hebner's hypocrisy in action; where was he when the Claw was in play!?"

"One Man Gang releases the chokehold, hurls the Texas Tornado into the ropes, and swings a mighty...no, Tornado Punch by Kerry von Erich on the rebound, and the Gang is down; he didn't see it coming! Texas Tornado hooks the leg: one, two, three; the Gang's out of here!"

"Blassie apoplectic outside; the One Man Gang should have known that was coming. It was the perfect situation for it, and the Tornado caught him napping."

"Kerry von Erich raising the finger the heavens, paying tribute to his brothers that are no longer with us, saying, 'This one's for you, guys.' King Kong Bundy back in, immediately pounds the Texas Tornado down to the mat with a barrage of lefts and rights. Bundy now sits down hard on Kerry's back over and over-but von Erich up, and dumps Bundy backwards to the mat; now he stomps in the groin area, going for the slingshot...no, Bundy yanks him down into a small package: one, two...no. Bundy up to his feet, big slam of the Texas Tornado to the mat; now he drops the leg hard into the chest. Now he whips him hard into the corner...and look at this, Heenan up on the apron, grabs the Tornado's arms, and pins them behind the post; referee does not appear to see the Brain, who's crouching behind the post! Texas Tornado essentially trapped in place...!"

"And you know what that means, Gorilla; he's wide open for the Atlantic City Avalanche. Give it to him, Bundy!"

"King Kong Bundy sizes the Texas Tornado up, and here he comes in fact with the Avalanche...bullseye! Bundy backing up; I think he's going to give him another one!"

"Why not; if the Tornado can't fight back..."

"Not like this! Bundy again...OUUCCCCHH!" Monsoon grimaced from the latest Avalanche, "And Bundy laughing and backing up once more; he's going to do it again! Come on ref, stop this!"

"All the Tornado has to do to stop it is yell, 'I quit, Bundy.'"

"Kerry von Erich looking far too dazed from the two previous Avalanches, and here comes the third...direct hit! Heenan finally releases the Texas Tornado, who crumples like a rag doll to the mat. Bundy with the cover: one, two, three; what a disgrace!"

"He should have yelled, 'I quit.'"

"Sure, like THAT would have stopped a brute like Bundy. Five on three now, and Piper still looking determined as he steps back into the ring, charges straight at Bundy and rams him hard in the chest. Bundy staggers, but fells Piper with a blow to the back."

"Quick cover, Bundy; let's get Piper out of here quick."

"Bundy instead tags Kamala in for the first time. The Ugandan Giant sizes Piper up, now picks him up, a slam coming...down hard. Now an overhead chop, and then a neckbreaker, and a beauty."

"Natural Disasters Team has had an easy edge in this one so far; Piper better have something good up his sleeve if he wants to get the momentum back."

"Piper now whipped into the corner; Kamala charges in-and misses! Piper takes him down with a neckbreaker of his own, and a quick cover: one, two...Earthquake in to break it up. Piper on his feet with fury on his face and starts whaling away at Earthquake; he's waited a long time to be face to face with this guy."

"Well he'd better concentrate on Kamala; the Ugandan Headhunter is the legal man right now."

"And so he is; Piper throws Earthquake and Kamala together! Tag to Tugboat, and the big guy in, drags Kamala to his feet, and throws him into Earthquake again, sending the Natural Disasters' captain clean out of the ring; he almost squashed the Mouth of the South out there! Tugboat whips Kamala into the ropes, off the ropes himself, and crashes hard into him, sending him down. Outside, the Wizard shouting at Kamala to tag quick; Tugboat throws Kamala into the corner instead, and here comes that big Tidal Wave Splash of his-bingo!"

"I think he ripped off the Atlantic City Avalanche for his finisher, Gorilla," the Body complained, "Bundy ought to sue Tugboat for every cent he's got for copyright infringement, or at least challenge him to a splash-off to see who does it better."

"They may look the same, Jesse, but you forget one key detail: Bundy Avalanches his opponent to purposely cripple them, and Tugboat only gives a strong enough Tidal Wave Splash to get the victory. And this Tidal Wave sends a dazed Kamala toppling to the mats, and Tugboat with the cover: one, two...Bundy in to break it up-but Tugboat shoves him clear out of the ring too! Kamala with the tag to Studd while Tugboat's occupied, and Studd immediately slaps a chokehold on Tugboat from behind. Tugboat backing into the post hard to break it, then keeps ramming Studd from behind. Studd now whipped into the far corner as well, here comes another Tidal Wave-no, just misses this time. Studd flings Tugboat into the ropes...Tugboat ducks under the tag, and whoa, hard clothesline takes Studd down again! The cover: one, two...look at this, Heenan into the ring to pull him off! Tugboat incensed, he lunges at the Brain, who frantically bails out of the ring! Tugboat out as well, he's chasing Heenan around the ring...!"

"Look at Studd, he's getting out as well, and he's getting a steel chair..."

"He'd better not use it if he knows what's good for his team. Heenan back into the ring, Tugboat catches up to him, lifts him off the ground, looks like he's preparing to give him a powerslam...look out, here comes Studd with the chair...but Tugboat turns around, and the Brain gets it instead...!"

The bell rang loudly. "Big John Studd has been disqualified," came the official announcement to a loud cheer. "Very popular decision here; Studd slams the chair to the mat in frustration," Monsoon cracked a grin, "A stupid mistake by Studd that may just mark a turning point in this match."

"And the bad part is, he was only trying to help his manager with it," Ventura grumbled in disgust.

"Kamala back in, Tugboat picks him up and gives him an inverted atomic drop right off the bat. Now a tag to Slaughter, who whips Kamala into the corner hard. A look at Heenan outside the ring, dazed from the chair shot he accidentally took from Studd, who's now being escorted out by ring officials; the Brain in fact taking a seat in another chair for the time being, so suffice to say he won't be interfering in this one for a while. Back in the ring, Kamala slips under an attempted Slaughter Cannon by the sergeant, grabs him around the back of the head, and smashes his face into the turnbuckle."

"Good thinking by Kamala there; now hopefully he has a good counterattack to fend off Sarge's planned assault."

"Slaughter, though, spins Kamala around and decks him hard in the face. Now another atomic drop, and Kamala's reeling. Sarge with...no, Kim Chee trips him from outside the ropes and holds the legs down while the Wizard shouts for Kamala to go up to the top rope. The Ugandan Giant heading up in fact; he has a clear shot on Slaughter from there. Kamala perched high in the air, preparing to deliver an Air Africa, now he leaps...but Slaughter breaks away at the last minute, and nobody home...and Slaughter immediately clamps on the Cobra Clutch!" Monsoon roared, "Both Kim Chee and Earthquake into the ring to try and break it up, but whoa, Tugboat in too and downs them both with a running clothesline! Slaughter pouring on the Cobra Clutch full blast; Kamala in agony...and now he waves his arms in surrender! We have a submission, and just like that, it's three on three!"

"Well the remaining members of the Natural Disasters won't go down that easily, I can guarantee you that."

"Yokozuna in now; Slaughter measures him, tries to pick him up, but no dice; Yokozuna too heavy...and now he topples forward on top of Sarge! One, two...just got the shoulders up. Yokozuna picks Slaughter up and rams him hard into the ringpost...and again. Sergeant Slaughter hefted over Yokozuna's head, and flung halfway across the ring-right towards Piper for the tag."

"Big mistake there by Yoko; he did the one thing that could have saved Slaughter."

"Piper in like a rocket, and a dropkick on Yokozuna sends him wobbling backwards-straight to Earthquake for the tag."

"Well, what goes around comes around, I say."

"Earthquake rushing Piper with a cruel look on his face; he wants to finish what he started at Summer Slam. Piper ducks under his arms, spins him around and decks him hard. Earthquake decks back; the two of them going at it full tilt in the middle of the ring. Finally Earthquake with a hip toss on Piper that sends him flying into the ropes and back for the big boot. Earthquake airborne over Piper, down hard on the chest. Earthquake whips Piper hard into the corner, rushes him-and misses! Piper with a dropkick to the back, and tries to pull Earthquake down...!"

"You're not going to beat Earthquake that way, Piper."

"Look at this, Jimmy Hart firing that megaphone into the ring again-but Dave Hebner intercepts it! Earthquake stumbling over to grab it off him-and another kick to the back by Piper! Roddy going up to the top rope; Earthquake busy chasing after the megaphone, he doesn't see Piper behind him...and Piper with a diving dropkick from behind takes the big guy down! Piper hooks the leg: one, two, three! What a turn of events this is! Three to two now in favor of Roddy's Rowdies, and the Natural Disasters are without their captain for the rest of the match! Piper ecstatic; he got justice for Summer Slam...!"

"And he's also got Yokozuna coming in from behind; he doesn't see him..."

"Yokozuna with a brutal axhandle from behind takes Piper down. Now the former sumo champion drops the elbow again and again and again. Yokozuna whipped up into a frenzy, flings Piper into the ropes, and a hard right cross takes him down again. Piper crawling towards his corner, desperate to make the tag, but Yokozuna cuts him off, picks him up, and a tremendous powerslam likely coming your way...now! That cold look filtering back on to Yokozuna's face, and now he's dragging Piper towards the corner..."

"Oh yeah, get the popcorn ready, kids; it's Banzai Drop time again."

"Roddy Piper convulsing on the canvas; Yokozuna climbing up to the second rope; it looks like both teams are going to be without their captains now..."

"That's right; squash him, Yoko, squash him good! Just make sure it shuts Piper up for a good long time to come. And here we go...!"

"BANZAI!" Yokozuna's roar echoed loudly throughout the Saddledome seconds before he came crashing down hard on Piper's chest for the cover and easy three count. "Back to even strength now, as Slaughter in again; let's see if his military training comes in handy in taking command...and right off the bat, Slaughter rolling Piper out of the ring so he can't get Banzai Dropped again; Yokozuna was going up for another one."

"A truly good military man never leaves a man behind in the field, Gorilla; it was true for my Navy SEAL buddies, and it's true for Slaughter and his Marine Corps pals as well."

"Slaughter trying to whip Yokozuna around and smash him into the corner, but Yokozuna standing his ground, and rather brutally whips Slaughter into it. Now Yokozuna smashes him chest first into the post, and a tag to Bundy. King Kong Bundy helping him double team Slaughter; they're both pounding away on his back now; break this up and get Yokozuna out, ref!"

"He's got five seconds, remember?"

"Both men still in there, both flinging Slaughter into the ropes, and a double clothesline fells him hard. Now both men sit down hard on Slaughter, who's being systematically destroyed here. Look at this, Bundy going up to the top rope as Yokozuna finally climbs out; there's a sight I never thought I'd see."

"Well, there's a first for everything, so let's see how well Bundy can carry out a bombing run."

"King Kong Bundy, swaying on the top ropes, this may be extraordinarily painful for Sarge. Bundy leaps...and misses! Slaughter upright, and a kick to Bundy's face. Now he slams him face-first to the canvas. Sergeant Slaughter now with new momentum, off the ropes...where he's tripped by a now back to his senses Heenan; come on! And Bundy over on top of Slaughter, and it looks like, yes, King Kong Bundy now putting Sergeant Slaughter into the Cobra Clutch himself! Bundy pulling for all it's worth, all while Heenan stands in front of Slaughter and makes funny faces at him; someone get that weasel out of here! Slaughter fighting it, fighting it; Bundy pulls harder..."

"And Slaughter just surrendered; he just waved at the ref and made it clear he was giving up. That must be humiliating to have your own hold turned on you."

"Same as it no doubt was for Rick Martel earlier this evening being made to submit to the Boston Crab. Just Tugboat now to fight for Roddy's Rowdies, and the big guy in to kick Bundy in the face again in a flash. Tugboat drags Bundy over to the corner and starts pounding his face hard off the turnbuckle. Bundy with an elbow to the chest to break it, whips Tugboat into the ropes, and...no, Tugboat ducks under the clothesline and pulls him down into a small package: one, two...not this time. Tugboat undeterred, drives the knees into Bundy's chest. Hauls him up, throws him hard into the corner. Tugboat sets up for the big splash, and here he comes-yes! The cover: one, two...Yokozuna in to make the save. And now the sumo champion slams him hard into the turnbuckle. Dave Hebner ordering him out, and Yokozuna obliges...and Bundy tags him right back in. Tugboat trying to hold Yokozuna at arm's length, but a hard blow sends him reeling. Yokozuna picks Tugboat upside-down-that's a measure of just how strong this guy is-and starts coldly ramming his back into the post repeatedly."

"Tugboat can't take much more of this; he might just give up soon too."

"Yokozuna measuring Tugboat up and down, and now a big slam coming up...yes. Yokozuna starting up the ropes again; are we going to see a second Banzai Drop this...wait, Tugboat grabs the ankles, Yokozuna swaying, and down he goes! Tugboat hooks the leg, and the cover: one, two...from outside, Jim Cornette rolls his man over on top, and Yokozuna now with the cover: one, two...no, Tugboat reverses it again: one, two...another reversal by Yokozuna: one, two...and another reversal by Tugboat...!"

"I wish they'd make up their minds; this is getting confusing."

"Tugboat trying to hold Yokozuna down: one, two-here comes Mr. Fuji to the other side of the ring, he's taking a handful of salt out of Yokozuna's ceremonial salt bucket, and he hurls it straight into Tugboat's eyes; referee didn't see it! Fuji casually rolls Yokozuna over on top again, also unseen by the ref: one, two, three; it's over."

"Good thinking there by Cornette and Fuji; that's good teamwork for you."

"That's dirty teamwork as far as I'm concerned," Monsoon grumbled as the Japanese flute tune started up again. "Here are the sole survivors, Yokozuna and King Kong Bundy!" Finkel announced. "Both men raising their arms in victory, but it took a lot of arm-twisting to get there," the commentator stated dryly, "And now, the big question, will the Mega Powers Team get here in time for the main event coming up next? They have about ten minutes if they want to do it."

"And I say no, Gorilla," Ventura leaned back confidently in his chair, "I'll wager fifty bucks Hogan and his cronies don't show at all. This match is as good as won for the Million Dollar Team already..."

BUT OF COURSE, THINGS DIDN'T QUITE TURN OUT THAT WAY...

THE END...OF THE SURVIVOR SERIES STORY

STAY TUNED FOR MORE CLASSIC WWF ACTION IN FUTURE TALES COMING YOUR WAY SOON...


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